In Drummer Heaven

Fax From Home

April

Tommy

I hated the idea of going back on tour, leaving my Darcy not only with our daughter but leaving her pregnant. It's killing me but I know that Dani and Rosie are going to make sure she's okay and goes to the doctors. I do in all honesty wish I could be home with her to help Darcy in every way possible.

I don't even remember which country we're in if I'm being completely honest. It's about noon and I really don't want to get out of bed, I've already called and talked to Darcy but she had to go to her baby doctor appointment. Today's the day Darcy will find out the gender of the new baby and I really hate that I'm missing this.

I've already missed so much with Avery. I missed the first time she crawled and I missed her first steps. At least I was there when we found out that Avery was going to be a girl. With this baby I'm missing the most monumental thing to happen this far in the pregnancy. It makes me feel like a shit husband and a shit father.

It makes me want to quit the band as much as I don't want to admit it. I love Nikki, Vince, and Mick as well as I love touring but I get to live my dream while my wife sacrifices her dream to raise our family. Darcy won't every admit to it but it's killing her not being able to tour and play music. I mean of course Darcy loves Avery more than anything else on this planet but there's still that rock star part of her brain that wants to go back on tour so fucking bad.

I roll over in bed and I hear the manager walking down the hall talking with someone, whether it be on the phone or in person I don't have the slightest clue but he's talking to someone either way.

"--tell her I'm taking it to him right now." He says and I pull my eyebrows together.

The manager proceeds to bang on my door and I groan.

"It's open!" I call and move so I'm sitting on the end of the bed.

I yawn as he opens the door carrying a big yellow envelope with his cell phone still to his ear. Without saying goodbye he rolls his eyes and hangs up the phone.

"Your wife is the most stubborn person I've ever met." He starts and I laugh.

"Yeah." I agree. "You're just realizing this?"

"No but she's been down at the studio for the past three hours demanding that this gets faxed to the hotel." He states and holds up the envelope.

"Well what is it and why is it so important?" I wonder and he pushes the envelope at me.

"You tell me!" He says and I take the envelope.

"Okay." I agree still kinda confused.

I break the seal and open the envelope. I pull out the white fax paper and flip it over. There are too pictures stacked on top of each other and some of Darcy's writing at the bottom. The first picture is the ultrasound pictures out our unborn child from the side, it almost looks like the baby is sucking it's thumb. I smile as soon as I see it then I drop my eyes to the next picture. It's a picture of Avery in her car seat with her bright smiles crossed her face and little chalkboard in her hands. The chalkboard reads: I'm going to have a little sister but don't know yet because I can't read! We're going to have another daughter! I finally read Darcy's writing and I smile. Hey baby, I miss you so much and I wish you would've been here to witness the doctor tell me that I was having another girl. I wish you could've seen Avery's face when I explained it to her. We're starting to have this perfect little family, T-Bone. I love you so fucking much and I can't wait to see you again. All my love, Darcy.

"I'm going to have another daughter." I say quietly and look up at my manager. "Darcy is pregnant with another girl." I explain and he smiles.

"Congratulations, Tommy and forward my congratulations to Darcy, would you?" He asks as he shakes my hand and I nod.

"Of course, I mean she is doing all the hard parts." I laugh and he smiles.

Shortly after that the manger departs because he has to do manager things. At that time I pick up the phone and dial home. It rings exactly three times before my wife picks up.

"Hello?" Darcy answers and I smile.

"We're going to have another daughter?" I ask.

"Yeah, baby. She's healthy and moving around a lot." She explains and I grin again. "I know you kinda wanted a boy but--"

"Darcy, I'm excited. I'm happy it's a girl, I mean if she's anything like you and Avery she's going to be stunning." I tell her and I can almost see her smile.

"I want her to look like you, baby. I want her to have beautiful brown eyes and gorgeous dark hair." Darcy explains.

"Avery has the brown eyes."  I remind her. "Maybe this one will have brown hair like me and blue eyes like you."

"Either way, she's going to be gorgeous." She states and I smile.

"Agreed." I say. "How's Avery doing?"

"Good, she's napping right now." Darcy explains. "I'm sorry, baby. I know you love talking to her."

"It's good that she's getting into a napping schedule." I say. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than I was, I'm not puking all fucking night like I was." She explains and I laugh. "I miss you so much though, Tommy. Avery misses you. I think the baby even knows you're gone because of how much you talk to her."

"I miss all three of you so much. Now I have three beautiful girls to worry about being alone in our house." I say quietly.

"You're not still having that dream, are you?" Darcy asks concerned and I shake my head before I realized that she can't see me.

"No I'm not having the nightmare anymore but I still worry." I admit as someone bangs on my dog.

"Hey T-Bone! Up and Adam, come on we got a sound check to do!" Vince yells and I groan.

"Have fun, baby." Darcy says and I smile. "I love you."

"I love you too, do me a favour and give Avery a kiss for me?" I ask.

"Of course I will, call me later on." She tells me.

"I will. I love you." I say again because I don't ever want her to forget it.

"I love you too." Darcy says and the phone disconnects.

One wife, one daughter, and another daughter on the way. How am I going to keep them all safe while I'm touring? Maybe we should get a guard dog or a guard bear or something big a scary. I know! A guard PMSing Dani! That's definitely scary.

Don't ever tell her I said that, she'll kill me and my children will be fatherless.