Fantasy Becomes Reality

Chapter 112

I woke up and Andy had his arm still wrapped around me and I got up and went downstairs. I didnt really want to lay awake with him just holding me. I went in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and went and sat down on the couch and turned on the tv.

A few minutes later Andy came downstairs and he looked in the kitchen for me and when he saw me laying on the couch he sat down next to me.

"Hey." He said and I got up and ignored him and he sighed.

"Are you seriously still mad at me?" He asked and I still didn't say anything. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar and he stood in the doorway.

"Are you going to let me out of the kitchen or are you going to be a dick?" I asked.

"I'm going to be a dick." He said and I narrowed my eyes at him and tried pushing past him but he grabbed me. 

"Let go of me Andy." I yelled and he picked me up and set me down on the counter.

"Andrew just leave me the fuck alone. Go upstairs lay d-" he completely cut me off by placing his lips to mine and cupped my cheeks. I pulled away from him and looked at him and he looked at me.

"Jasmine?" He asked and I didn't say anything.

"You're really this mad at me?" He asked and I shook my head. I got off the counter and he backed away from me and I stopped walking.

"Andy I just can't right now." I said and he sighed and slammed his fist down against the counter and I walked out and went upstairs. I wasn't feeling the way I usually did. If we were arguing we would have great make up sex and talk about it and be fine, but I was just annoyed and mad and I wasn't feeling the same way about him. He was right, I loved him but it was different and I didn't know why. At this point it wasn't even me being mad at him, it was just my feelings toward him and it was scaring me. I laid down in bed and he came into the room a little bit later.

"Do you want ice cream?" He asked putting his hand out and I looked up at him and shook my head.

"I'm not in the mood." I said and he nodded and put the bowl down on the nightstand and climbed in next to me.

"I'm not mad at you anymore." I said and he nodded.

"Can you give me some type of idea on why you're not talking to me then? Because even I know my wife wouldn't turn down ice cream." He smiled and put his hand ontop of mine and his smile fades when he realized I wasn't laughing and I didn't hold his hand.

"I don't know what's wrong." I said.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Im okay, im not in pain, the baby is okay, you're okay, we aren't." I said.

"We're okay-"

"Right? You're not mad at me and I'm not mad at you." He said and I shook my head.

"Andy no." I said and he let go of my hand and I could feel tears swelling in my eyes.

"I don't know." I said.

"You don't know what?" He asked.

"I don't know if I love you anymore." I said and it hurt to say to him. It did. We were fine and it felt like I just woke up and something wasn't okay. I could feel tears swelling in my eyes and he didn't say anything. He went to say something and he couldn't get anything out. He looked at me and I looked at him.

"What?" He asked and his eyes got red and I started crying.

"Andy I love you, but I feel like now I'm just trying to convince myself that I love you and I don't want that." I said and he shook his head.

"No-no-Jasmine." He said and he cupped my cheek.

"Listen to me baby, we've been through so much you know that. We have Skylar and we're going to have Riley and we're going to be okay." He said and he wiped tears from my eyes and I saw tears start to run down his face.

"We can get through this, we'll be okay. We can't give up now please." He said and I pulled away from him and wiped my eyes.

"Jasmine I can't lose you." He said and I wrapped my arms around him and he held me tightly. We were both crying. I didn't even know what I was feeling, I didn't know why I said it because I shouldn't have and I shouldn't have told him and I should have just fucking kissed him back and ignored it. He pulled me down on top of him and held me tightly and his tears were making my shirt damp.

"I can't lose you." He said and I started crying harder and he rubbed my back. I pulled away from him and he wiped his eyes and I did the same and sat up. He grabbed my hand and held it and rubbed the top of it.

"Can we just take a break?" I asked and he sat up.

"Just a few days Andy, I'll stay at my dads for a little bit and Skylar can spend the night with you a few nights and a few nights for me.

"Jasmine-"

"Andy please." I said just above a whisper and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We can just calm down and do our own thing and just take a break." I said.

"Jasmine I want you. I love you. I don't want to do my own thing with anyone else. I want you-I told you in the hospital all I wanted was you." He said.

"I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I don't know why I just woke up and felt like this. I don't. We were fine and I don't know why I'm not." I said.

"I love you." He said and I nodded and cupped his cheek and smiled weakly. I knew he loved me. He loved me with everything in him but for some reason I couldn't even tell him I loved him.