A Daywalker's Diary

The Decision

Entry 36:

I don't know whether to scream my heart out, kiss someone, or cry. I was given a chance, and now I'm not even sure what I should do. Should I take this once in a life time offer, or just leave it? I've been asked this by two people, who really mean a lot to me. I know, I know, I should just go along with it, because I'm basically meant to, but... what if this person isnt really as great as I thought? This is really a difficult decision.

~

I stared at Zavier blankly, "Wait... what?" I asked. He shook his head at me, "I'm asking you to go out with me." My jaw hung open. No way.... "So? Will you?" he asked. I stared at him for a long time. "No..?" I kind of asked. His eyes were hurt, "What?" he asked. "Yes?" I asked. I sighed, "I don't know!" He stared at the ground. "I'm not sure, because Collin, and you, and UGH!!!" I screamed. 

"Wait... Collin?" he asked, turning back towards me. "Well... he kind of already asked me..." I mumbled. "Why didn't you tell me this?!" he exclaimed. "Because I didn't think you were ever going to ask me out!! I mean come on!! I'm as freaking plain as paper, and you... you are as hot as the freaking sun!!!!" I exclaimed. "What are you talking about?" Zavier asked me. 

"I'm talking about how there is a gigantic gap between you and me. The rift of how talented/ good looking you are compared to the average and plain me is huge," I said, standing up. He stood up too, "Stop making up excuses! I know you want to be with me!" he exclaimed. "Then why is it so hard for me to answer?" I asked, staring him in the eyes, "Why is it almost impossible for me to give you a simple anwer?" 

He stared at me, "Because you're afraid," he said simply. "I'm afraid? Tell me how you think that I'm afraid," I stated. "You're afraid of accepting you like me; admitting you were wrong about those feelings you've had ever since the amusement park, maybe even before then," Zavier said. I let out a laugh. "What's so funny?" he asked. "You could never be so wrong about this in your entire life. I'm afraid I would end up getting hurt in the end. I've witnessed what it's like to have a broken heart, and it does not look pleasant," Iexplained. 

"I've broken down those walls you put around yourself, and you let me. Now you're basically saying you can't trust me with your heart?" he asked. "That's... That's not what I'm saying!" I exclaimed. "Then what are you saying?!" he asked, raising his voice a little. I pulled on my hair, wanting to rip it out. "I'm trying to say that I need you not to do that!!!! I don't want to be hurt like my sisters have, but I also don't want to go on living without really trying!" I exclaimed. 

Zavier clenched his jaw, and walked up to me. He grabbed the back of my head, and pressed his lips against mine. I melted in the warmth of his passion and anger. It was something I wanted to experience again and again. He pulled back, and we were both breathing hard. "I thought I told you I wouldn't do something like that. I would rather be killed than hurt you, Dusk. So please answer me," he said, his eyes pleading with mine.

"yeshuoifegherd," I mumbled. Zavier blinked, "What? I didn't catch that." I sighed, rolling my eyes, "I said 'yes' you stupid bloodsucking leech!!" He gave me a huge smirk. "What?" I asked angrily. "Nothing. I knew what you said, I just wanted to hear it louder," he said happily. "I feel like I'm going to regret this decision..." I muttered. "Don't say that... It hurts when I hear you talk like that..." he said, looking me in the eyes. 

"It's not going to hurt as much as when you tell Vince that you're... umm..." I trailed off. "Umm..?" Zavier asked, raising an eyebrow. "My boyfriend," I said. It just sounded weird. I mean, me with a boyfriend? And one who could sweep basically anyone off their feet. This is all like some dream. "It doesn't matter what Vince thinks. It's your decision, anyways," Zavier said.