My Heart and Other Black Holes (My Heart #1)

Chapter 40

Zoe knocked on the door to Joe and Caspar's flat. "That was quick," Joe said as he let her in. "Did you sort everything out?" In reply, Zoe looked down guiltily and walked away from him. "Zo, what did you do?" he asked with worry.

"I just... it just – came out. I never meant... I didn't... I didn't mean it... and then when she... she said – I couldn't just... I had to stick with... with what I... what I said," Zoe rambled incoherently. Joe took both her shoulders.

"What did you do?" he repeated; dread rising in his stomach. At these words, Zoe burst into tears.

"It just came out!" she sobbed loudly. Alfie and Caspar came to inspect Zoe's crying.

"What happened?" Alfie asked Joe, as he walked up to them.

"I don't know! She won't tell me..." Joe replied. Alfie hugged Zoe and she sobbed into his chest.

"I didn't mean it," she cried.

"Didn't mean what? Zoe, what did you do? What did you say to Rowan?" Joe asked urgently.

Zoe sniffed and stepped away from Alfie; looking at Joe. "She kept telling me to... to leave... she didn't want me in her house – but I said... I said I wasn't going to let her disappear again. And she... she asked if I was... going to... drag her out with force so... so she would have to stay but then – then I said she had to... choose," Zoe sobbed.

"Choose what?" Alfie asked.

"Choose... choose between Jack and us," Zoe wept. She put her hand on her forehead. "It just... came out and then she said... she said it was an easy... choice and the way she said... made me so... angry... I said if she chose... Jack that... she would lose us... all,"

"And then what did she say?" Joe asked. Zoe just cried. "Zoe, what did Rowan say after that?" he repeated.

"She said... she told me to – get... out and... never... never come back," Zoe replied helplessly.

At these words, Joe closed his eyes in despair and Zoe looked at him with guilt all over her face.

"Joe... I didn't... I didn't think she'd actually... choose. I'm so... I'm so sorry," Zoe finished.

"Well, I mean, it isn't a big deal. Just go and apologise and say you didn't mean it," Caspar said; trying to be helpful. Joe shook his head.

"Zoe's messed up one time too many... Rowan will never forgive her," Joe replied angrily. Zoe started to cry again.

"I'm sorry... I didn't want this to happen either Joe!" she insisted as Alfie pulled her into another hug. Joe didn't know what to say. He obviously knew that Zoe hadn't meant it but he had lost his sister – how could he not be angry at her? "Joe, I'm sorry," Zoe said.

Joe couldn't deal with this right now. "Alfie, just take Zoe back home... I can't... I don't want to deal with her right now," he muttered.

"Joe, come on," Alfie tried. But Joe shook his head.

"This is all her fault. I told her not to go, I knew she would mess everything up," Joe replied.

"Please Joe," Zoe tried. He shook his head again.

"Just leave. I'm not angry at you Zoe, I just can't deal with this right now," he said.