Knock Me Out

Chapter 19

That 👆is our Megan😍😘😘

" I thought the past was repeating itself. I'm sorry chaniëlle, I'm so sorry."

"Oh mom" I say with tears streaming down my face "why didn't you tell me all of this before. Why did you keep me in the dark for so long?"

"I'm sorry baby, I just couldn't find it in my heart to tell you"

"I was so angry mom. Angry at you, at dad, at my classmates, at myself. I was angry at everyone mom, because I had so many unanswered questions. After dad died you ignored me for months mom and I was just a four year old kid. I didn't know anything about life. I kept thinking it was my fault and that I did something wrong. I kept blaming myself for everything. I barely had a childhood, because of all this. You never told me that he was death, it was reality that made me realize what was actually happening. You kept saying *he's gone* and I couldn't understand what you meant. Sometimes I found myself believing that he might come back. I used to sit outside that gate for hours, waiting and hoping he'd come back"

"Chaniëlle I'm sorry. Please forgive me"

"I forgive you mom, because I can't stay angry anymore. I gotta let go and move on. I just wish you had told me a long time ago. Then I wouldn't have blamed myself for everything. Maybe I would have enjoyed my childhood a little and maybe I wouldn't be such an angry person all the time. But that doesn't matter anymore. What has happened, has happened. It's okay now. Thank you for finally opening up to me"

"I thought you were going to be angry and shut me out. Thank you"

We stay in the same position for a long time, before I hear my moms stomach rumbling.

I laugh and say "Let me guess. You haven't had anything to eat. Let me get you something to eat"
Then I turn to Megan and say "Make sure she doesn't commit suicide, while I make her something to eat"

"I'm on it" she smiles at the same time my mom says "Are you kidding me now?"

Before I enter the kitchen I hear Megan telling mom that she messed up her make-up and that she'll help her look human again.

Today has been some sort of relieve for me. I feel like some weight has been lifted off of me. I kind of knew what happened, because Cordelia told me some of it, but I guess I just wanted to hear it coming from my moms mouth. I know it's not her fault. For her actions were humanly and I don't want her to feel guilty about what happened to dad.

I got to know that my car was a gift from my dad before he died. He saw me looking at it a few days after my forth birthday and I told him I liked it. So he paid for everything before he died and he wanted it to be a gift on my 20th birthday.

He also left my mom a letter explaining everything that happened and how. I kinda feel like his death wasn't just an accident, but suicide. If it wasn't suicide, why would he buy me a car if I would get it 16 years later? He could've waited a little more.

But okay. I'll just go with what I'm told. I don't think my mom ever thought about it that way. Or maybe she has, but she doesn't want to bother me with that.

To be honest, I never thought I would let her of so easy. I always planned bad things to do on the day she would tell me what really happened, but I realize it's not needed. People make mistakes and they don't have be punished for it......well not always. Sometimes people deserve a good punishment.

I always thought the people I call family didn't care about me, but today made me change my mind about that.

I haven't seen Chris since I got back. It feels like I haven't spoken to him for years. I miss him.

I wonder if he cried too. He probably did. He can be a p***y sometimes.

I just remembered the fact that I didn't ask mom if she knew about the child that is supposed to be my dad's.

Whatever there's still time for that. Right now I'm in a too comfortable position to worry about that.

I'm in my moms bed. Her arms are protectively wrapped around me and I feel protected.

I love it like this.

I smile before I drift into sleep.

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So do you think Chaniëlle's mom knows anything about the child?

And who might it be?

Comment to let me know what you think.

And please vote😁😀

Love❤ Nicky