Knock Me Out

Chapter 49

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P.S. this chapter is completely an argument, so try to keep up.
⚠lots and lots of offensive words.

"What the fuck was all that about?" He yells at me.

"I can hear you properly and I'm not deaf. So if you don't mind I'd like you to fucking talk and not scream" I spit back at him.

"Answer my fucking question! Why was he here?" He yells again.

"I don't owe you any damn explanation! Why don't you go and fucking ask him?" I yell as loud as he did.

"Don't you get it? He's no good for you! What more does he have to do to prove that to you?"

"He's no good for me? And who is? You? You're good for me? How? By lying to me? By keeping fucking shit from me?..."

"I didn't tell you, because I didn't want you to be fucking worried. Unlike him who doesn't hesitate to bother you with every little shit...."

"At least he doesn't keep me in the dark! He trusts me to handle the motherfucking truth like an adult!..."

"So now I'm the bad person here? I'm keeping you in the dark. That's what you're saying? I've always tried my fucking best for you! But it's never fucking good enough for you! You're always fucking selfish Chaniëlle!..."

"How dare you call me a selfish person! For all I know, I've always helped everyone as much as I could! Unlike you, I think about other people's happiness!..."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Unlike me? Unlike me! Chaniëlle I've always done everything in my power to make you the happiest woman alive! And you would have noticed everything I do for you if you weren't too busy being a pompous bitch!"

"Did you just call me a bitch? Chris!?"

"Not just a bitch! A pompous one! You're so fucking ungrateful and unbelievable! After everything I've done...."

"I never asked you to Christian! You did that on your own, so don't pretend like I forced you to do anything for me! I gave to you, more than I ever thought of giving anyone else in my life! I never took you for granted Chris! I've always been fucking thankful to you for being there for me! Right now I can't fucking help but think that it was all beneficial!..."

"Beneficial? Damn you! You must be fucking joking! And what was the benefit? Having sex with you? You think I stuck by your side just for sex?..."

"Well then prove me wrong! Ever since I said we couldn't fuck anymore, you started being this person who's a fucking stranger to me! Tell me if I'm wrong!..."

"Well you're fucking wrong! I never changed, I'm still the same fucking person! You just made up some shit, so it could be easy for you to move on! Hell! I always fucking told you that I love you, but do you fucking care? Of course not! Thanks for making it bloody clear tho! While I was making love to you, it was a meaningless fuck for you!..."

"Love? Love! Love Christian? Fuck you! You don't fucking love me! What the fuck do you even know about love? You feeling comfortable around me doesn't mean you love me! Don't say something you're not fucking sure of!..."

"You're bloody insane! What the hell do you have against love? You think you're right about everything? You're fucking not!..."

"I don't have shit against your belief in fairytales! Believe in it all you want! I don't care! I don't waste time on bullshit! So I'm sorry if I don't live the life you want me to live, but I like to live in reality! It's my fucking choice..."

"Its always about fucking you! Isn't it? Your life, your choice, your preferences, your thoughts, your theory, your everything! It's bloody funny how you don't believe in love, but you're ready to start a relationship with a fucking molester!..."

"Yes! Go ahead! Tell me again how wrong all of my choices are and then which choices to make! And when you're done, you can go ahead and tell me how it was my choice! Tell me how ridiculous and careless I am! Tell me how I'm nothing without you! Tell me how crazy and insane I am! Tell me how selfish I am! Tell me how fucking ungrateful I am! Tell me what a pompous bitch I am! That's what you're good at! That's what you've been telling me all my live! Today you stand there and tell me how I can't make any fucking good choices, while I never got to make any in my life! Hell! Everything in my life was decided for me! Thank you for helping me become independent on that level!..."

"You can cry all you want and say how bad you've been treated! I don't give a crap! Why do I even fucking know you? I'm so sick of all your bullshit! You're such a pain in my ass all the time, but I still put up with your shit! So stop pretending to be the victim all the time, cause you're not!"

"No! I'm sorry for pretending to be the victim! I don't expect you to care! I know better now! Thank God I never gave in to any of that 'I love you' crap! I knew it was all bullshit! Protecting myself from you and every other men was the best decision I ever made! No matter how many feelings I have for you, I'll never give in! No matter how fast my heart beats when you get closer, It'll never be yours! I'll see to that. I'll move miles away from here if I need to. I'll have meaningless affairs with every other guy before I give in to any 'love' shit! It's all fucking fake and stupid! Just some crappy temporary shity feelings!..."

"You're protecting yourself from me! Chaniëlle! Me of all people? Wow! We've know each other for as long as we can remember, but still we know very little to nothing about one another! Why are you fighting yourself? It's a battle you'll never win!"

"Well then watch me!.."

Christian crashes his lips onto mine and wraps his arms around me, but I do everything I can to push him away from me.

I'm not letting this happen again. 

"Let go of me! Let go of me Christian! Don't... Don't fucking touch me! Don't ever touch me again!..."

"This is bullshit Chaniëlle!..."

"Call it whatever you like! I don't give a shit anymore! I'm done! I don't ever want to see you again! Forget I exist! Forget you ever knew someone by the name Chaniëlle Righters! Don't call me, don't text me, don't chat me, don't even think about me! I don't need you and I most certainly don't love you! Now get the fuck out of my way!"
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I really don't know what to say after this chapter.

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Love❤ Nicky