Knock Me Out

Chapter 61

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When Chris lets go of me, the mood shifts dramatically into an awkward one.

He doesn't look at me at all. His head is down.

I want to ask him what's wrong and tell him that it'll be okay, but one way or another I can't.

"He treated you like shit and called you a pompous selfish ungrateful bitch, who always makes the wrong choices" my subconscious reminds me.

I could pretend it didn't hurt me and put it behind me or I could let him admit that what he did was wrong.

Option two it is. If he won't say anything then I won't either. I might have been wrong about a few things that night, but that didn't give him the authorisation to call me names or make me feel like shit about myself. Besides, I spoke my mind.

Most of the time I'm the first to say sorry, because if one thing I'm not scared of taking the blame for something I did or something that might be my fault. I'm aware that I fuck up a lot of times. So I'm always the first to apologize, but not today.

Sean's right. I blame myself too much, even for things that aren't my fault. I should stop placing the blame on me at all times without thinking wether I did something wrong or not.

"I... I don't deserve your... forgiveness for the things I've said... cause I wouldn't forgive me either... and... but I.. I want you to know that I... I didn't mean any of it... I was wrong about everything except one. I never stuck by your side just for sex, but because of what I felt for you. I never used you just for my pleasure and I'm sorry I made it look that way. I was so jealous and mad and... hurt that I had to watch you be with someone else. I felt that I was losing you in a rapid speed and you were moving further away from me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything"

I stay quiet during his whole confession. Watching him closely. He didn't look at me once.

"Please say something" he says with a nervous laugh.

"I'm sorry too. Not for speaking my mind, but for the wrong things I said. I forgave you a long time ago. Fuck... I can't stay mad at you. I missed you" I say lifting his head up, so he can look at me.

"Saying I missed you would be an understatement" he says looking into my eyes and wraps his arms around me again. I can hear his heart beat and it's such a beautiful sound.

"Now let me take a good look at you" he smiles and I take two steps back.

"You lost weight, but you still look as beautiful as ever. You look amazing. I like this dress" he says.

"Thank you"

"Will we ever be what we used to be again? I mean as close as we used to be" He asks after a short period of awkward silence, looking at my hand in his.

"We'll figure it out. We always do. Did you really think it'd be so easy to escape whatever relationship we have? You're stuck with me for life, so you better get over that pain in your ass" I say and reach my hand out to him.

The dullness in his eyes makes place for brightness, as he kisses my cheek. 

Ugh Lord!!! I'm too weak for this type of feelings.

The smile on my mom's face when she sees us walking hand in hand, just lights up my world. If she says anything, I swear I will scream so loud my guests will think I'm crazy. Thank God she holds her tongue when we sit next to her.

I hate how everyone has been watching our every move since we came down. Like damn...

"Yo man Chris. Where have you been? You just disappeared from the earth surface. You okay?" Jamal says as he does one of these manly handshakes with Chris.

"Yeah, I'm cool. Just had a few things I had to take care of" Chris says.

"Cool cool. You enjoying your party princess?" Jamal asks me.

"I am now" I answer honestly and he nods.

"You guys should dance. I haven't seen you guys dance in a long time"

"Maybe later" Chris and I say in sync.

He shrugs and turns to my mom "Hey there beauty"

"Hey there" my mom answers.

"You know. Just yesterday I was telling some friends of mine that I have the sexiest chancellor in the world. How do you get to look so good all the time?"

"It's God's grace Jamal" my mom smiles. This isn't the first time Jamal tries to flirt with her and it's no longer a secret that he has a major crush on my mom. It's kind of creepy that my friend has a crush on my mom, but oh well...

"Can I send my girlfriend over so you can give her some tips? Or I could just come over and get those tips for her"

"No Jamal. I'm busy"

"Is the crush mutual yet?"

"You're so adorable. Can you please get me something to drink?"

"Anything for my princess" he says and stands up.

"Could you stop flirting with my mom?" I say before he walks away.

"Could you stop asking me to?" He says and walks away.

I know my mom asked him to get the drink just so he could leave.

'Stay' by Rihanna ft starts playing through the speakers. Chris stands up and holds his hand out to me.

"May I have the pleasure of this dance?" He asks.

"I thought you'd never ask" I reply placing my hand into his.

He leads me to the dance floor as many eyes follow us.

He puts one hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him as his other hand holds one of mine. I put my other hand on his shoulder. 

The crowd forms a big circle around us as we waltz around the room; his eyes never leaving mine for a second.

After that we dance to 'Nightingale' by Demi Lovato and 'Halo' by my good friend Beyonce Knowles.

All the three songs said things I felt inside.

For a second while dancing I thought he was going to kiss me. I was hoping he would. But he didn't. He leaned his forehead to mine and closed his eyes.

I couldn't ask for a better birthday tho. It was perfect.

Perfect.
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😭😭😭no I'm not crying!!!

I swear a lot more happened in my head while writing, but I just didn't know how to put these other things into words.
So yeah I might have experienced more than you read😂😂

I could literally imagine how they danced to these three songs, while listening to them.

Don't forget
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Love❤ Nicky