Knock Me Out

Chapter 58

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"Get up, lazy bones! A little Q/A with a handful of people and y'all are tired?" Bey shouts as she enters the room with some things in her hand.

"Ugh.. I shouldn't have opened the door" I complain.

"Come on guys. This is my only free day in God knows how long. I want to enjoy every second of it. Ben and Jerry's anyone?"

"Yeah duh"

"Did they bring the shopping bags already?"

"Yeah"

"You think she'll like it?" Sean asks holding the small package containing the bracelet in it.

We're seated on the floor in the bedroom, with chips, whine and ice cream.

"Definitely. What's there not to like about it?" Bey asks.

"Actually no. It depends on how grateful she is. You got a picture?" I ask.

"Yeah I got millions of them"

He takes his phone out and shows us some pictures of her. He told us earlier that her name is Camilla and they've known each other for as long as they can remember, just like Chris and I. She's beautiful.

"She can be so difficult at times. I'm always wrong according to her and she's always right, even when it's clear that she's wrong. She has this thing against love, but.... Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Am I doing something wrong? She doesn't want to admit to being in love with me... but I know she is..."

"Sounds like me" I say quietly, barely audible, but I know they heard me.

It stays silent for a couple of seconds.

"Who's Christian?" Sean asks eventually.

"He's my... best friend. We had an argument and..... I don't know. It's not like I have anything against love, it's just.... When my dad died I felt betrayed, hurt, broken. I was so young I didn't know the difference between someone dying and someone just abandoning you. I grew up feeling abandoned by my dad. He was the only man I loved and he just left me. He promised, he promised he'd watch me grow up... he said he loved me and he'd always come home to me. Next thing I knew... my mom was crying every day and refused to talk to me for days and daddy?.... he never came home. Last time I saw him he refused to talk to me. He was sleeping in a box..... I was starting to forget how to smile, but... Then Chris came along.... it was my fourth birthday when I first laid eyes on him. He was around every time I needed him. I knew we'd be inseparable and soon I couldn't imagine a life without him. I got scared. He promised he'd forever be around; just like my dad did. I..... I started pushing him away.... I couldn't keep it up for long tho, cause as I pushed, he pulled"

"Why would you go against what you really feel? That's exactly what Cam is doing and it fucking hurts. God knows I love that girl with my all and I know she loves me back, but...."

"It's not that easy you know....."

"Why'd you guys stop talking anyway? What happened?" Bey asks Sean.

"I told her I loved her and that I wouldn't be able to live without her. She panicked and flipped. Baby girl blew up like a cheetah on crack. Said I was lying and I didn't know what I was talking about. Said she didn't need my love and if I can't be just friends with her.... I shouldn't talk to her at all. Thing is. I know what I'm talking about. She's just being difficult and overdramatic about the situation"

"She's not" I defend.

"How would you know that? I know her better than anyone else"

"Because I happen to do the same thing to Chris.  And the problem is that you think you know her so well, that you don't try to help her get past that which she's afraid of. You keep hanging onto the thought of knowing her too well. I know I'm afraid of being left or abandoned again and I can't help it"