Knock Me Out

Chapter 68

Please vote by clicking on the star at the bottom of the page. It only takes a second to do so. Make my day☺

All the others get dropped off at home and Chris and I are the last people to reach home.

He walks me to my room and was about to go to his room.

"You know. We never drank that wine you brought" I say to prevent him from going away.

His eyes light up.

"Should I come in or will we have it downstairs?" He asks.

"Come on in" I say and he does just that, closing the door behind him.

We sit on my bed and he pours the whine into our glasses.

"To the future" he says raising his glass.

"To the future" I repeat and let our glasses touch lightly. "Hmm this tastes great" I say after I take a sip and he smiles and nods.

We drink whine and eat chocolate in silence for a good ten minutes. There's some sort of tension in the room. There are so many questions hidden behind those beautiful eyes of his and I can feel it.

"Did you mean it when you said you were protecting yourself from me?" He asks eventually looking at the red liquid in his glass instead of me.

I take some time to think about it before I know the right answer.

"Not in the way you think I meant it. It's love I was protecting myself from and you were presenting it to me. You came with love in your package. I was trying to protect myself from what you felt, what's inside you. Not you yourself" I say softly.

"And when you said... you thought... I was using you for... My pleasure?" He asks still not looking at me.

"I did on the night that I said it. Not before or after" I  answer honestly.

Silence....

"Do you really regret knowing me? Am I really a pain in your ass?" I ask.

"No. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, but you do frustrate me most of the time" he replies.

"You said so many hurtful things to me and deep down I know you didn't mean most of them. But why did you say those things?" I ask.

"I was jealous. So freaking jealous. And hurt. Broken. All I could think of was hurting you as much as I was hurting inside. There's no way I'd be able to do that physically so I did it the only other way I could. That's something I'll never be able to forgive myself for. I took most of your fears and turned them into reality. I'm sorry for everything I said that night"

"And I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I gave you a reason to be jealous" I apologize.

"I'm sorry I didn't help you get over your fear. I knew how hard it was for you to get over something that happened in your childhood, but I kept pushing you. Your dad didn't mean to hurt you either, but life happened"

"You know?" I ask surprised that he knows why I refused to give into love.

"Yeah I do. I've known for years. You're more honest in your sleep than when you're awake" he jokes sill not looking at me. "I never want to lose you again. Not even for a short while" he says and finally looks up into my eyes.
"So beautiful" he whispers before leaning forward to kiss me.

His lips are so warm and soft. He takes the glass out of my hand and places them on my bedside table. His both hands cup my cheeks as he deepens the kiss and moves closer to me.