Home (H.S)

the real beginning

"I got these feelings for you. And I can't help myself no more. Can't fight these feelings for you. No, I can't help myself no more."

Harry's POV

My first thoughts waking up is the huge I mess I must have made last night. I know that I had a temper tantrum because my hands hurt. I open my eyes and am surprised that I’m not in the room I have been staying in these past few days. I am back in my old room - the one I share with Eleanor.

I sit up in bed hastily and look next to me, seeing Eleanor reading a book calmly. I frown confused at what is going on.

"Hey, sleepy feeling better?" she greets me kindly and I am taken aback by her attitude. Weren't we not on speaking terms or something? I could have sworn we weren't.

"Yeah. I'm confused? Why I am in this room? I murmur.

"You'll be sharing a room with me again," Eleanor says as a matter of fact.

"I don't understand? You were mad at me and we weren't talking?" I shake my head.

"You don't remember last night, do you?" she asks turning on her side.

"I remember that I destroyed a few things. I was really high or drunk. One of those." I mumbled rubbing my head.

"Well, you did throw a tantrum and almost destroyed the guest room. But the girls spent a great deal of last night and this morning cleaning it up. I asked them to move your stuff back into this room." Eleanor explains. "I don't know if you remember but we agreed to put the past behind us and just focus on the future." 

"What made you change your mind? I was so sure that you wanted nothing more to do with me." I mumble.

I try to not react when Eleanor cuddles up to me placing an arm around my waist.

"You need someone to take care of you. I was angry at what you did and I was very hurt. But I don't want to be mad anymore. It happened and nothing I feel will change that," she murmurs.

"You feel sorry for me, don't you? That's why you're being so nice and understanding. I don't want your pity, Eleanor," I mumble getting off the bed.

"Harry, come back here." Eleanor says sternly.

"I don't do pity. I'd rather you stay angry then to feel sorry for me. I deserve to feel the way I do," I mutter.

Eleanor gets off the bed walking over to where I am standing.

"Look in my eyes, Harry," she says looking up at me.

"Why do I need to look into your eyes?" I frown looking down at her.

"I do not feel sorry for you. I care about you. That is two very different things, Harry. I want you to do better because I don't know if I can handle another break down of yours. Not because it's a burden but because it hurts to know you feel the way you do about yourself," she says.

I feel my insides swell up and my heart could burst at any moment.

"I don't want to disappoint you, Eleanor and I don't know how not do that. I don't want you to have high expectations only for me not to meet them," I mumbled looking away from her.