Home (H.S)

off with their head

"But to understand the future, we have to go back in time."

Harry’s POV

I want to do more to help Eleanor get out of hospital. I want her to be better. I feel so guilty knowing I did this to her over a stupid fight.  

She was in pain because of me. I have to make this better for her somehow but nothing comes to mind. No apology or excuse could ever make up for this.

The one single promise I couldn't keep. How would her dad react knowing the truth about why his daughter was in hospital?

"Stop over thinking things Harry. We will be fine, okay?" Eleanor says reassuringly watching me pace the room.

"I hate knowing I did this to you." I opt to say how I was honestly feeling.

"I understand it." Eleanor murmurs simply glancing at me for a second before looking away. 

"Are we still together, Eleanor?" I ask, afraid of the answer. Although I knew it anyway. I was just preparing myself for the blow .

"We were over the second you laid hands on me, Harry." Eleanor glances back at me with a stale look. I feel a lump in my throat that I try to hide. It's hard though.

Knowing you fucked up something good.

I can’t stay here just having those words fresh in my mind. I need to do something before I do or say anything else to Eleanor.

"I'll be right back. Excuse me for a few minutes." I let out so I could leave the room. No matter what I’m not going to allow myself to break down right here in this hospital. The only thing I had I just lost because I fucked up big time. 

"Harry, don't leave please," Eleanor calls out from behind and I look back at her.

"I can't be here, Eleanor." I shake my head moving towards the door again.

"Harry, I don't want you going outside like this. Please just sit down and we can talk if you want," Eleanor murmurs, patting down next to her. Everything inside of me is telling me to leave this room but I am a sucker for anything Eleanor says. I'd do anything Eleanor wants.

I went sit down next to her. I don’t dare touch Eleanor in fear that I might upset her. 

"I'm not saying we're over forever, more like a break, if anything. I just need to wrap my head...well my head is already wrapped around what happened. I need time to decide," Eleanor says reaching out to pat my back softly. 

"I really don't understand what made you decide you wanted space from me like that Eleanor. I realy thought we were okay." I plead, hearing the desperation in my voice. I so badly want to understand where I had gone wrong that made Eleanor question us. I thought it was us versus them.

"It just all caught up to me. How I know nothing about your past and you don't know anything about mine. Not that I have much to tell,” Eleanor explains.

"Why couldn't you just sit down to ask me that? You have to understand it wasn't fair of you to come home determined to pack and leave. I have mental issues because of things like that," I say looking at Eleanor; hoping she understands where I was coming from.