Choosing

Chapter 27: Empty

Ades POV~

"Are you sure it's okay to leave her alone? She's not in a stable place right now." I asked Jack.

"Bekah hasn't been in a stable place for a long time, but I can't just be with her all day everyday. I'd love to but it's not healthy. She needs alone time, I trust her. You know how she is, if I'm around to much she'll get cranky and irritated and push me away. Give her space." Bekah is my big sister but she's practically raised me. I've seen her break down multiple times before but never like I saw yesterday. Yesterday it's like she was left in small pieces and half of them were missing. I could still see it today. Her eyes usually sparkled and were light green sometimes blue but today, they were such a dark green, they almost looked black.

"She's here but at the same time she isn't. I've never seen her that hurt. I don't know if she'll recover from this Jack." I leaned onto Hayes and took his hand.

"I know Ade, but all we can do is be there and try to help her, because without us she won't try to fix it. We just need to help her pick up the pieces and fill in the cracks. All we can do is give her time and not give up on her." I could tell by his voice that he was upset and he has every right to be. We got to the venue and all the guys hugged me and asked how I was holding up. I told them I was okay, but Shawn was searching for Bekah.

"Shawn, she's not coming today. She's at home." His face fell.

"Is she okay? Did she do something?"

"I can't say she's okay because she's not. That sparkle that was always in her eyes is gone. Her eyes are not beautiful today like usual, they are almost black. She's not okay, but she's hanging in there. She hasn't hurt herself and I don't think she will, but she's going to be calling me every hour if you want to talk to her." He nodded his head.

"Yeah, I just want to make sure she's not giving up. She means a lot to me and I just need to make sure she knows that. She's not alone, but after what happen yesterday I have a feeling she'll want to be. I just can't let her push me away,  especially when I know she needs me." He was so worried, he seemed a little more worried than Jack. I nodded and hugged him. Shawn went on the stage and I followed Gilinsky backstage.

"So Ade, you and my little brother? Why he looks like a gorilla?" I giggled a little and Hayes smacked Nash.

"Yeah but it's a cute baby gorilla." I joked. Hayes looked at me and acted hurt. 

Shawn's POV~

While Jacob was performing, Bekah called Ade and Ade let me talk to her.

"Hey Bek, how you holding up."

"I'm hanging in there Shawn. You don't have to be so worried about me you know."

"Yes Bekah I do. You've been through so much and you're only seventeen."

"I know but I'm hanging in there. My life sucks, I'm at the point where I just embrace it. I am only seventeen but I'm already gone."

"Bek, what are you talking about."

"I've given so much of myself  away that there is none left. I feel nothing at all. I don't feel pain anymore. All the pain is gone. I simply feel empty. I don't feel anything at all. No joy. No sadness. No pain. No happiness. Nothing." I had no idea how to respond. Her voice was flat and emotionless.

"It'll be okay Bek. You just need time to cope. You'll be okay. I'm here. I'm worried about you and will continue to be. I will get you through this Bekah. Don't give up, please."

"Why do you care Shawn. You've only known me for like a week. You don't need to be worried about me if you've only known me for a week." Her voice remained emotionless. It didn't raise at all.