Choosing

Chapter 29: I Don't Love You

Gilinsky's POV~

I didn't do it. I didn't cheat on her. I couldn't tell her that no matter what we could never be together. I couldn't tell her that she couldn't love me the way she loved Josh. I couldn't tell her that there will always be someone better. I couldn't tell her that even though I needed her, I needed Johnson more. I couldn't tell her that I don't think I love her. Bekah ran off the stage crying and Bart looked to me for why.

"I messed up." He sighed and ran after her.

"What happened G?" Johnson pulled his stool in front of mine and sat down.

"I cheated." He looked at me and died of laughter. "Why are you laughing, I'm serious."

"I'm sorry, but you, cheating. That's just hilarious. You wouldn't  cheat, especially on her. You've literally had a crush on her your whole life. What's the real problem." He knows me to well.

"I don't love her, she deserves someone who loves her." He laughed again, and I joined. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because you saying you don't love her is like saying she's tall, and she's only 5'2. You saying you don't love her is almost funnier than the possibility of you cheating on her. Next excuse."

"Johnson I don't want to fucking talk about it. I don't have excuses. It's true. Can you just drop it." He sighed and looked away.

"No. I won't drop it. You love her, and there is no reason for you not to be with her. I messed up my shot with her, and I'm still paying for it. You have no reason to be messing up your shot with her. She loves you, we've all seen that. She's still wearing that promise ring you gave her, so she obviously thinks there's still hope. Don't you think you both deserve a happy ending?" He was right. She deserves to finally get her happy ending, but I'm not the one that can give it to her. She needs to be happy, but I make her  mad more than I make her happy.

"You're right, I do love her just not in the same way she loves me. But we aren't each others happy ending. We simply can't be. We've caused each other months of misery in just a week. How is that a happy ending. She's a princess, she's our princess. She deserves her perfect fairytale. With everything else wrong I want her relationships to feel like a fairytale, but neither of us can do that for her. She's a princess and every princess needs her fairytale, but I'm no Prince Charming." Johnson put his head down and said nothing. Bekah came back onto the stage, with Bart and Shawn soon coming to the front of the stage.

"Are you guys going to be able to do this song or do we need to cut it out of the show?" We all exchanged glances and nodded.

"We can do this." Johnson spoke up.

After the song~

Johnson and I went backstage and Shawn followed.

"Gilinsky." Shawn shouted from behind me. I turned to him and sighed.

"What Shawn, you gonna punch me again? Go ahead, my day is already shit. It literally can't get any worse." Cam, Taylor and Carter all stood up ready to jump in and break us apart.

"I'm not gonna punch you Jack. I just want to talk to you about Bekah. She needs something to be happy about right now and I don't think us punching each other is going to do that."

"Well just talk because it doesn't matter what I say." I sighed and waited for him to talk.

"I want to ask you to stay away from her, and leave her alone. Don't call her, don't text her, don't go to her house and try to talk to her, don't try to talk to her at rehearsals or stay in the hotel room with her. Just leave her alone. She's been through enough this week, and you just added to it. So please, I'm asking you to give her space and let her decide when she wants to talk to you. It's gonna torture her enough to have to see you all day everyday for the rest of the week and the rest of tour. Just please leave her alone. Just please after today leave her alone." I wanted to tell him that I didn't do it, that she didn't need space because nothing happened, that I never ever wanted to hurt her and never did, that it's torturous for me too, but I bit my tongue and nodded. I don't know if she'll ever forgive me for lying or not knowing that it was a lie, but I did know that she would still need him and he had her best interest in mind. He was the kind of guy she deserved.