Choosing

Chapter 26: Leaving

We walked back to the spot where the funeral was held and the military commander was standing there waiting for us.

"I'm sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man." He handed me a folded flag, pins, a plaque and a dozen roses.

"No he wasn't. He abandoned us. Both of our parents did. Don't pretend he was the best dad in the world just because he died."

"Bekah you're hurting right now, I know you don't mean any of this. You loved him." More tears stung at my eyes and flooded out again.

"I loved him more than anything. I just wish he knew that." I fell to the ground, crying. My heart hurt, my scars burned and I cried. The commander reached down to hug me but I snapped. "No! Don't touch me, you don't know me. This all could have been prevented if he just didn't go with you." I held the flag to my chest and dropped everything else on the ground. Everything hurt so bad. I just wanted to cry about anything and everything.

"Baby come here." Gilinsky was sitting on the side of me trying to pull me to his chest.

"No! Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Just leave me alone. All of you just leave me alone. I just want to be alone."

"Bek, I'm not leaving you."

"I don't fucking want you here. Leave. I want to fucking be alone. Leave me alone." I couldn't read his facial expression through my tears, but I knew he would be hurt. I could hear Ade starting to cry. "Just leave." I cried. I heard them all leave but could feel them nearby still. I could here them whispering in the distance but was drowned out by my sobs.

Gilinsky's POV ~

Bekah had completely shattered. I couldn't even touch her. It hurt me but I understood that she was upset. Ade was crying, after seeing Bekah fall apart. None of us could do anything. She didn't want us near her, she didn't want us touching her. She wanted to be alone, but we all knew we couldn't do that for her sake. Ade picked the rest of the things up off the ground while crying and Hayes helped her. We all walked off and decided one of us needed to stay nearby. I volunteered first. I sat in my car and moved it so I could see Bekah and get there quickly but also so she couldn't see me. She shattered and I'm not sure if I could piece her back together. After everything I've kept her whole, but now she's fallen apart and there's nothing for me to do.

"Fuck fuck fuck." I beat on the steering wheel over and over again. I cried. I was crying over a girl. The girl I love is shattered into pieces and I can't do anything but sit here and watch her fall apart.

Two hours later-

Bekah was laying on the ground now, where her dad was buried and the tears were slowing. Her eyes started to close for longer and open less, until she fell asleep right on the ground, hugging the folded flag. I waited about 10 minutes and the sun was starting to set. She had completely fallen asleep, so I went over to her and picked her up from the ground and carried her to my car. I laid her down in the backseat and put a seat belt over her. I drove back to her house slowly and was careful over all the potholes, checking on her in the mirror every so often. She was still asleep when we got to the house so I carefully got her out of the car and brought her up to her room. I took her shoes off of her feet and tucked the blanket around her. I went over to Ades room and let her know that Bekah was home and she was okay. Hayes was in there with her, holding her and being there for her, doing exactly what I wish I could do. I wanted to stay but I needed to talk to my mom, so I kissed Bekahs forehead, told her goodnight and told her I loved her before heading back to my house.

"Mom I'm back." I walked into the living room and she was sitting there with my dad and my sisters.

"Sit Jack we need to talk." I did as my dad said, but sighed because of how exhausted I was. It's been a long day.