Choosing

Chapter 38: Confessions

I woke up really early again. I used to sleep so late but now I'm lucky if I sleep past eight. Everyone else in the room was still asleep. Jack was wrapped around my waist with his head on my boob. I looked over to Hayes and Kaylee. They were so cute together. He was taller than her, but curled up on her like he was a baby. I grabbed my phone and texted Cam since he is usually up early.

Me: Cam you up?

Cam: Of course I am Nash snores like a fucking chainsaw. Why are you up so early?

Me: I cant sleep and that might be because Jack is on my boob, but either way I cant sleep

Cam: Wanna go for a swim?

Me: Jack is like an elephant when he sleeps how the hell am I supposed to move him

Cam: Don't be pissy with me im not the one on your boob. Just push him off of you and meet downstairs in 10

I locked my phone and put it back down on the night stand. I looked down at Jack, he looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake him. I tried to roll out of his grip but he moved with me and held me again. I tried to move his hands off my waist but every time got them off he put them back on.

Me: Cam this isn't working he wont get off me

Cam: Take a pillow, put it on you chest. Then put him on the pillow exactly how he is laying on you and slide out from under the pillow. I'm already at the pool so hurry up

I locked my phone again and did what he said. It actually worked. Jack didn't wake up at all. I grabbed my blue bikini out of my suitcase and changed in the bathroom. I grabbed my phone and a towel and headed down to the pool.

"Hey Cam." I said, putting down my towel and phone on one of the chairs. He was already in the pool so he swam over to the edge, and rested his head on his hands.

"Woah there is a such thing as you not attached to a guy." I thought he was joking but he sounded very serious. I dove in the pool and swam next to him, since he didn't move.

"You okay?"

"I don't know Bek, are you? I mean you finally come to spend time with the whole group and end up going on a date with Shawn. Then yesterday we were all having fun back stage, and usually you would join but you just sat there with G. I get that they both have feelings for you and you have feelings for them but it's like they are completely taking over your life. We all go back home soon. We all go separate ways and the only two you seem to care about is Shawn and G. Yeah you are confused about this whole thing but you are shutting everyone else out. They aren't the only ones that love you, you just can't see that because you saw them and that was it." He looked over at me and looked so upset. I had no idea why though. A lot of the stuff he said was right, I haven't spent any time with any of the rest of the group. I've been to busy seeing if I wanted Shawn or Gilinsky.

"What do you mean they aren't the only ones that love me." He gave me a look, like he was shocked I didn't know what he meant.

"Think about it Bekah. When you and Gilinsky got into a fight the day you two started dating who was there. Who is always there when you are struggling with guy issues. Who was the one that cared enough to talk to you everyday when you locked yourself in hotel rooms. Whose the one that supported every decision you've made. When you struggled to sleep because Shawn and G wouldn't talk to you, who was there. Who has been up texting you every day when you cant sleep. Jack and Shawn aren't the only ones who love you, you were just never willing to open your eyes and see that." He looked at the chairs then back at me. I thought about what he said for a minute and he was right. All the signs were right there I just wasn't looking. Even when the entire world was against me, Cam was there. Cam has always cared. Cam has always been there for me, even when he wasn't happy with me.