Choosing

Chapter 4: No-News Sunday

Bekahs POV~

So I guess I fell asleep on Johnson because I woke up on his chest and his head resting on me. I was about to sit up, but then I realized my arm was under him and our legs were intertwined . Am I missing something here? Did we talk about more than just what's been going on this past week? Not that I know of .

I look over to the other side of the room and see Gilinsky sound asleep on the futon.
I thought he had to leave for vacation today, maybe not. I've been out of it so it could be another day. I grabbed the pillow on the side of Johnson and threw it at Gilinsky anyway, just to be safe. He woke up with a groan.

"Whatttttt do you want from me Satan"

I carefully unwound myself from Johnson so I wouldn't wake him and kissed his cheek.
"Don't you leave for you vacation today?"
"Shit I over slept my mom is going to kill me if I miss this plane" Gilinsky said as he hurried around the room grabbing his jeans and t shirt (he kept basketball shorts at my house). Then he unplugged his phone and collapsed back onto the futon when he saw it was only 7:36.

He sat up onto his elbows "so you and Johnson huh?"he said as he wiggled his eyebrows.
"It's not like that Gilinsk, we are just friends." I smirked at the thought of there being a 'me and Johnson' , who wouldn't though he's adorable and one of the nicest guys on the planet.
"Oh yeah definitely. Friends who kiss each other and hold hands and cuddle and stay the night at each others house. Yeah definitely not dating." Gilinsk says sarcastically.

He's got a point there but then again, "I stay the night at your house and cuddle with you and kiss your cheek but we aren't dating either."

"Toshaè midget Toshaè." I threw my stuffed ninja turtle at him and the hard eye ball hit his elbow and he softly shouted 'owww'.
"Shhhhhh" I told him as I threw another stuffed animal at him.

To late. Johnson was already stretching out on the bed. Makes sense considering I was laying on him all night so he couldn't move at all. He looked up and smiled. "How you feeling today?"

"Better thank you. And sorry about last night you couldn't move at all I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry I didn't mind" he told me still smirking .

There was a comfortable silence for a little while as me and Johnson just stared into each others eyes . Then all of a sudden there was a growl.
"Did you get a dog recently?"
"Nope I'm just starving."I said as I ducked my head down looking at my stomach.
We all looked at each other and smiled.

"Pancakes" we said in sync. It's been our tradition since we were little, to make pancakes when we spent the night together. The boys raced each other downstairs and I giggled watching little J try to over power Gilinsk. I skipped over to Ades room and woke her up.

"You look oddly cheerful today" Ade told me.

I flopped onto her bed. "Yeah I don't know I feel bubbly inside. Like there's butterflies in my stomach. I don't know what's going on."

"Oooooo someone's got a cruuuuusshh." She said poking me on the shoulder repeatedly.

"Do not." Maybe I do. I smirked slightly. "Cmon brat breakfast time." I said as I left and headed to the kitchen.

"There you are I thought you went back to sleep."( Gilinsky )
"Nope just talking to Ade."

I pulled out my phone and put on their newest song. Jack and Jack have been working on music and their new song is my favorite. They have a few fans but they only have 2 songs and they are really good.

They both looked at me and had an embarrassing smile. There's the butterflies again.

Johnsons phone started buzzing and ringing. When he picked it up he smiled. Me and Gilinsky glared at each other, confused on what was going on.

"Hey baby girl what's up" said Johnson as he left the room.

My heart dropped and I felt drained suddenly. My face fell from a smile to an emotionless expression. He's just my friend, right? Why do I feel like this? It's just Johnson. I can't possibly have feelings for him, me and Josh just broke up.

"Bekah?" Says Gilinsky snapping his fingers in my face.

"Oh yeah uh what's up"

"You okay? You look like your dog died. You don't have a dog. What happen there?"(Gilinsky)

"I-I don't know" I trailed off seeing Johnson return into the kitchen.

"Did I miss something you guys look like your dog died."

Ade came down stairs and we all sat at the table and ate our pancakes. Everybody talked but me. I sat in silence looking down at my plate, playing with my food.

"I'm not really hungry anymore I'm gonna go in the shower." And I left, without looking back or looking up from my hands.

Before going in the shower I sat on my bed for a while, my back towards the door, just looking down at my hands. My eyes began filling with tears just as I heard a knock on the door. I wiped my eyes and turned to see Gilinsky standing in the doorway. I faked a smile and got off the bed.

"Hey what's up, you're not okay so don't say you are talk to me" he said shaking me gently.

"Honestly, I don't really know. I'm feeling things for J but I just got out of a relationship with Josh. I get butterflies in my stomach when I look at him and when he hugs me or kisses my head or touches me at all my entire body from the inside out heats up. I feel safe around him. I feel like if he's around then I'll be okay and he'll hold me up. And I love his little baby face and how he isn't trying to be like every other teenage guy and build muscle for girls. But then again yesterday we almost kissed and we cuddled and I heard you guys talking about me and now he's on the phone with some random girl calling her baby girl and being all smiley at her name on his phone and I just don't know what to do or how to feel. Me and Josh just broke up a week ago and I feel like a player for probably getting feelings for another guy so soon. I don't even know if it actually is feelings or just wanting to get over being hurt. I don't know Jack I just really hate myself, today more than usual." That was all it took for me to break down again. God, I'm an emotional wreck lately. He grabbed me and pulled me close.

"Shhh it's okay you're amazing. Please don't hate yourself if not for any other reason just do it for me please. You're okay, don't cry , it's okay." He said gently rocking back and forth, playing with my hair.

"Here, why don't you go take a nice long shower or bath" he looked at his watch. "I'll be gone when you get out but you call me when you do okay, we'll talk on the way to the airport. I'll be away for a few weeks though, think you can handle life without me?"

I chuckled "yeah I'll be good. See you then?" I hugged him tightly.

"I'm gonna miss you kid, more than you'll know." He whispered into my ear and walked off.