Silver Hearts (Completed)

SH18

SH18

Most people hide at their own facade. They want to act in accord to the social role given to them. They enact with their expected behavior. And that most people does not want what they have to portray yet the society and their environment tells so so they have to abide... Even if it hurts. Even if it's suffocating.

Scarlet is right. Silver's been through a lot. Simula bata kami, mataas na ang expectation sa kanya bg pamilya niya. He is the eldest and he is the one to be next in line of their family's empire.

Isama pa ang mga magulang namin na lahat ng gusto ay kailangan makuha. They want us to be like this and like that. They want us to be together so badly and maybe it's one of the factor that I am so hooked up with Silver. Dahil bata pa lang ako, sinasabi na saaking mahalin ko si Silver.

But unlike me, he didn't fall. All he can do is see me as his sister and bestfriend. Kahit anong pilit at gawin, hanggang doon lang ako.

That's when I decided to step outside Silver's world. I need to keep my distance to keep him breathing because I am nothing but part of the pressure that's suffocating him.

After our confrontation at the hospital, I went directly to his condo. Yun ang unang pumasok sa isip ko. I cried there for an hour before I collected all my things in his place. Since I decided to give Silver the space that he always wanted, I need to remove all the things in his place that would remind him of me. I love Silver and he loves his freedom so I am giving him it.

It's been a week at sa condo ko lang ako nagstay at nagmumukmok tuwing umaga. Our family's been calling and contacting me nonstop but I ignored them. Except for Mamu na ang hiningi ko lang ay pabayaan muna nila ako. And she understands.

What I can't accept is that they are still not sorry for the damage done. They still want to pursue the marriage kaya hindi ko sakanila sinabing buntis ako. I will keep mum until I have enough energy to tell them that they need to let Silver go from all their grips.

For that whole week, all I want is company so everynight, I went to the place that gives me comfort everytime Silver breaks my heart.

"Sorry Earl." I cried at his shoulder again as he hugs me. Pinuntahan ko siya the day after Silver remembered. Ganito naman ako palagi, siya ang takbuhan ko. I also badly need a drink but I stopped myself because I have someone to protect with me... And that is my child.

"It's okay Violet. Ssshhh. Tahan na. Don't stress yourself especially that you're pregnant." I told him everything just what I did before. I poured my emotions to him as I cried pales of tears. For the whole week, gabi gabi akong pumupunta sa club niya para lang umiyak sa harap niya. And the giid thing is Earl is always there for me to listen.

"I don't know Earl. Our family's contacting me again. Gusto nilang mag usap na daw kami ni Silver. They want us to clear things between us so the wedding could pursue but I don't want to Earl. I want to escape. I don't want them to know about my Baby." Hindi ko alam kong saan ba nanggagaling ang luha ko at bakit ito hindi nauubos.

"Tahan na Violet. Please. I hate seeing you crying. Stop being stressed at namamayat ka na. You need to take good care of yourself now."

Earl was right. I need to take good care of myself para narin sa anak ko. I can't keep sulking because it will affect him or her.

I smiled at the question in my head. Will it be a boy or girl? I want to know. I caressed my stomach as I looked out of the bus' window.

I decided to travel far. Far from all of them. I needed a breather and a break. Kaya naisipan kong pumunta sa isang resort sa Mindanao. Kung pwede nga lang mangibang bansa ako but I am sure Mamu would hunt me down pabalik kaya sa malapit muna ako magv-vacation. Maybe after this, pupunta nalang ako sa ibang country up until I give birth. Para wala na ring makaalam. It would also be for Silver so he will not have the burden of taking responsibility of the child.

When I got to the resort, kumuha agad ako ng hotel room. I feel so drained and tired. Tinawagan ko muna si Earl that I had safely arrived. Siya lang kasi ang may alam ng get-away ko.

"How's your travel? Okay ba yung napili mong hotel?" He asked na alalang alala. I slumped myself into my bed as I held my phone in my left ear.

"Don't worry Earl. The place is nice and soothing. Atsaka sea side naman tong hotel so lalabas ako mamaya para makasinghap ng fresh air." I answered. "Okay lang din ang byahe. Nakatulog nga ako sa airplane."

"I really should have come with you." He answered.

"Busy ka Earl." I rolled my eyes. Lately, naiinis talaga ako sa mga bagay na paulitulit nalang pinag uusapan. "And I want to be alone nga diba?"

"Oh. Nagiging kontrabida ka nanaman." He chuckled.

"Ewan ko sayo Earl. Kung hindi mo siguro sinabi saaking Bi ka baka pinasama kita but since you lied to me, hindi ako papayag. Nagtatampo pa ako sayo." I pouted as if he could see me.

"Nagtatampo ka pa sa lagay na yan. Gabi gabi mo na nga akong ginawang panyo sa kakapunas mo ng luha at nakakaduri mong uhog saakin." He laughed kaya nainis na talaga ako. Ugh!

"Bahala ka nga jan Earl. Bye. I'll sleep."

"Wait-"

I immediately ended the call and turned off my phone. Nakakainis talaga. I placed my phone underneath the pillow before I nuzzled of to bed.

Pero hindi ako makatulog. My mind wandered back again to Silver. What is he doing now? Is he still working? Nagkita na ba sila ni Scarlet? Galit rin ba siya kila Tita Kath at Mamu? Did he ever...even for a second...wondered about me?

The answer would always be no Violet. Stop assuming. Kung maiisip ka man noon, I am sure it's because he despise you so much. Stop hoping and expecting. Expectation is the root of all heart breaks. Stop breaking your heart Violet. You are hear to escape and forget everything. Not to think of all the misseries you are in.

I sighed as I wiped off my tears. I'm crying again just because I am thinking of him. I can't promise but I will try. I will try to not cry for him anymore and I am never eager as this in my whole life.

This time, paninindigan ko na ang pagmomove on ko.