Silver Hearts (Completed)

SH11

SH11

"I am not joking Violet. Since engaged naman tayo, I think it's better if we get married already." Seryoso parin si Silver sa pagsabi non. Napainom nalang ako ng tubig ng wala sa oras. How can he be this serious? Did Tita Kath or Mamu persuaded him? I know this was part of their plan but I never agreed to that certain part. I am very much aware on where should I place myself atleast.

"But you see Silver, it's complicated." I never think we would come to the point that I have to marry him. Am I that desperate that I will even lead him to marriage that he never wanted? No! We can't get married. I cannot tie him to me forever. When the time comes na makakaalala na siya, he will probably hate me more for doing it. I can't take too much risk.

"We're engaged. Anong ikinakomplikado non?" He asked with creased eyebrow. Kung alam mo lang Silver. But no... You're too innocent for all of this. You don't know a thing. You don't know that you used to hate me before having your accident.

"Silver, your memories aren't back. Baka pagsisihan mo lang pag makaalala ka na." I answered. I want to cut my tongue dahil kung bakit yun pa ang sinagot ko. It was wrong Violet! You're making things worst.

"Is my memory even important? I love you Baby and you love me back. That's all that matters. I don't think I will regret it too. Bakit pa ako magp-propose sayo if I don't want to marry you in the first place."

That's exactly the point! You cannot marry me because you haven't proposed in the first place... And that you don't actually love me at all. That feeling you're feeling isn't for me and that's what you don't know Silver. That's the reason you cannot marry me.

I kept my mouth shut and stared at my food. I cannot deceive Silver any further aside from what we are doing now. Mahal ko si Silver. Mahal na mahal that's why I can't. I feel like everytime I lie to him is a gap built in the future. I know the consequences, I just want to act blind to see it clearly.

Nangilid ang luha sa aking mata. I should talk to Mamu. She shall know about these. I should tell them that I need to stop. These is no good to Silver. I am no good for him.

"We... We can't Silver." I sobbed. Ang sakit pala. All I dreamt of is to make Silver my family, my partner, my husband, the father of my children. And here I am rejecting his offer because I love him too much that I cannot destroy him.

Napahagulgol nalang ako ng iyak. Negative thoughts flooded me again. Paano nalang kung biglang makaalala si Silver? He would push me away again that's for sure. He will hate me so much. I can no longer touch and kiss him if that will happen. That idea hurts. Gustohin ko man mapasaakin si Silver ng tuloyan, hindi naman pwede. I don't know where those feelings he felt for me came from but I know to whom it was for. And it's Scarlet! It is Scarlet that he loved not me! Kahit may iba na si Scarlet, I know na siya parin ang mahal at mamahalin ni Silver kung tutuosin.

Naramdaman ko nalang ang pagyakap ni Silver saakin at paghalik sa noo ko. He slowly caressed my hair as he kept his lips on my forehead.

"I am sorry Baby. I won't pressure you again. I just thought you wanted us to get married too." He hugged me even more tightly and I felt so loved yet so wrong.

"I wanted too." I muffled through his chest. I slowly raised my arms and slid it to his waist to hug him back. I looked him in the eye and saw sadness and a glint of disappointment in it. Guilt immediately ate me. Hurting Silver in a small or big way hurts me more. I am too weak to see this side of him. "I am not pressured and I really want to but-"

"So let's get married then." He cut me off. His kiss lowered to my wet eyes, to my nose then he stared at me for a second before he devoured my lips. I can feel determination in his kisses.  He kissed me like it's all that matters and I kissed him back with all the equal passion. I will never get enough of Silver's kisses. I know this won't last but I wanted more... so bad.