Silver Hearts (Completed)

SH 8

SH8

I love Silver.

And that's what's making me hold into him more. That's the reason that no matter what odds and struggles I face, I will still choose to be with him. May it be a friend or a lover... though I prefer the latter one.

I reached for his hair falling into his forehead and swayed my fingers with it. Waking up at early morning and seeing the person you want to see first lying next to you is really ecstatic. If I am to give myself to him every night just to wake up with him the next day, then I am willing to do it over and over again.

I giggled when I saw him cringed his nose as I slowly poke it. God, how I love this man I am staring right now and I don't know how much pain it will cost me the time I will lose him. Kahit nga alam ko at hinahanda ko ang sarili ko sa araw na iiwan niya ako, parang hindi matanggap ng puso ko. The mere idea of it pinches my chest but instead of curing, I am even letting myself from falling harder for him. That even if I knew that I will cry in the end, I still chose to gamble... and to love.

"Good morning Baby." Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang magsalita. All I thought is he is fast asleep while I stare at his angelic face. His eyes are still closed but his lips twitched slowly into a playful grin. Napahagikgik ako. He was awake all this time so I pinched his nose.

"You're so naughty Baby." By this time, he opened his eyes and pulled me closer into him. I shrieked when he switched position and he was now in top of me while we are still under the white sheets.

"That's my way of saying 'Good morning too'." I giggled again. "Hindi naman masakit eh."

"It hurts." He said while still grinning kaya pinalo ko ang dibdib niya. Silver's chest is hard down to his abs. Sarap kurutin. At dahil nanggigil ako, I did pinch it.

"Ouch!" He reacted but still grinning. Natawa naman ako sakanya. He's reaction is contradicting to what he's saying.
"Hindi kaya masakit yun!"

"It hurts baby and you'll pay for it... deep, fast and hard." He stared at me. His grin still on his lips. His gaze is slowly penetrating on my being that I had to stop giggling because I was lost. I was lost by his plain stare. His face slowly neared my face as he claims my lips.

And there I was, fleeting in heaven again as he do me deep, fast and hard. He was thrusting inside me when I felt that I was near my zenith as feel the tension in him too.

"Shit! Violet... I am near Babe." He held my face and kissed me hard as we both reached the climax. I grasped for air and when he finally let go of my lips. He uttered the words I've been longing for for more than twenty years of my existence. The words I will kill just to hear from him.

"I love you Baby so damn much." And my tears started to roll one by one.

Hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng tuwa ang naramdaman ko pero ang saya saya ko. I was so happy that I can't stop my tears from falling. Finally, the man I love declared his love for me. I was so elated that my chest started to pain. Na sa sobrang saya ko ay biglang bumigat ang dibdib ko. I found myself crying because I was hit by the realization that the words I am hearing from him now is not meant for me and will never be meant for me. I am just a substitute. A surrogate. The pretending one.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan mawawala ang insecurities ko kay Scarlet. She was so damn lucky to have Silver all these times.

Lalong sumakit ang dibdib ko as I remember how we do it last night. The way he said that he is not expecting this to be our first time. And it's the question that keeps on killing me echoed at my head again. Is it for Scarlet? Is his carnal feelings are for Scarlet all this time? Have they done this before that Silver is so good at it? Of course! The answers will always be yes! At kahit masakit at ayukong isipin, na kahit umaasa akong sana ako nalang talaga, nasasaktan at nasasaktan parin ako.

Silver panicked when he saw my tears. He kept asking if I am okay and if there's something wrong. He even apologized and asked if he did it too hard that it pains me too much. But I remained crying afraid to utter any word. I don't want to say something that may be the trigger for him to remember everything.

How many times have they had made love before? Gustong gusto ko itanong but I know he won't remember anyway and I don't want him too. Alam ko rin naman na either way, masasaktan parin ako sa sagot.

I slowly wiped my tears with my hands and with the sheets covering us. Lalong nagpanic si Silver kaya napaupo siya.

"Shit Baby! Are you okay?" He helped me wipe every tears falling out of my eyes. Napahikbi na ako.

"I... I am okay. I am just happy." And it was half true. Happy to hear him saying he loves me and sad was the other reason.

"Why are you crying baby? Am I too aggressive?"

"No! Masaya lang talaga ako at ganito tayo ngayon." I told him as I gave him an assuring smile. I tapped the space beside me so he lied again. I immediately hugged him and place my face behind his neck. Nuzzling it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked again so I slowly nodded as I sniff his manly scent.

"And I love you so damn much too Silver. More than you know..."

Another batch of tears fell.