Reality

Love and Acceptance

Aubrey

"I know I've said this a million times, but I'm really nervous to go out to Missouri."

I glance at Harry as we sit in the backyard on the lounge chairs. It's a bright, sunny day that is perfect for sitting poolside. Even though it's beautiful out, my nerves take over my body and make this day feel a little dull. 

For a reason I can't explain, my heart anxiously races the closer we get to the day I fly out with Liam. I don't know what it is that makes me this nervous. It could be that I'm going to be meeting his parents, or it could be that this relationship is possibly moving way too fast for me. I'm not so sure how true that last statement is, but it sounds reasonable. 

Aside from the fact that I've just never had a boyfriend and don't know how this kind of thing works, I think this relationship with Liam is moving so quick. I've barely known him more than a month and I'm already going to be meeting his parents. I only intended for him to be someone I fooled around with in the sheets when I had no one else, not someone I find comfort and safety in. I definitely did not intend for us to be together. I didn't plan on falling for him. I never would have thought that he'd be someone I love. But here I am, in love and scared to death of what comes next. 

Harry is the only person I can talk to about this stuff. I don't think he really understands my point of view on things, but at least he is willing to listen, which is more than I can say about some other people. I really don't know what I would do if he weren't living in this house with me. I can talk to Liam, but I can't talk to him about internal issues I'm having that deal with him. And there is no one in the house I'd rather discuss this with than Harry. 

"Why are you so nervous?" He asks me with a beer in one hand and his phone in the other. 

I can't exactly see his eyes through his dark sunglasses to know if he's rolling his eyes at me or not. What I can see is his bruised eye peeking out at the bottom of his glasses and a slightly bruised cheekbone. The stitches through his left eyebrow are still pretty ugly, but I wouldn't exactly tell him that. 

Ever since his fall three days ago, Harry has been hanging around the house. He hasn't wanted to go out anywhere in fear that people will stare at his injuries, and poor Scarlett can't even get him out to the grocery store. I think at this point he just wants to chill out until at least the bruising has gone down, which I totally understand. 

"I don't know why I'm almost feeling like I'm going to throw up," I respond to him. The thought of flying out in a couple of days nearly makes me sick. Would Liam be offended if I didn't go? "I think I'm just scared. Maybe I'm scared of how his parents will react to him telling them he doesn't want to play football anymore. Or maybe I'm scared how they will react to meeting me. What if they blame me for Liam's decision?"

"Here's what I think," Harry begins as he sets his beer on the concrete, making sure it's in the shadow of his lounge chair. He turns to me and winces as he leans forward, surely his back is sore from his incident. "Of course I think that his parents will be upset he doesn't want to play anymore, but I don't think they will blame you. I have a feeling they will take kindly to you because I'm sure they've never known Liam to have a girlfriend. This could be a good situation for you."

"I'm just scared it's not going to go well and Liam won't know how to handle it. And if he can't deal with his parents, I don't know how he expects me to deal with it."

For a brief moment, Harry gives me an unsure expression. He may be the one person in the house I feel as if I can tell anything to, but I have yet to tell him about my past and I think he deserves to know my story. I truly hate telling people about myself. Sometimes I think it's better that people don't know much about me. I never have to worry about people tiptoeing around my feelings or feeling pity for me. It's just better off that way. But being as close as I am with Harry, I know that telling him my story won't make him judge me.