Jauregui.

twenty four

Taylor's POV:
I quickly turned around, to see Averi sitting up looking at me with the most frightened face I had seen.
"P-please don't tell M-Mom," She stuttered, tears flowing down.
"Aves. She's your mother. She wants to help you," I whispered back, unsure of how to act.
"Please Tay. Please," She started sobbing again, and her breaths quickened.
And I was at a crossroad. On one side I had my big sister, who trusts me and would be furious if she found out I knew something like this and didn't tell her. On the other side, I have my niece and good friend who would be betrayed if I told.
I made a rash decision and quickly walked towards Averi.
"Okay AJ. Just breathe. Follow me. In. Out. In. Out. I won't tell her now," I told her once her breathing evened out.
"Promise...?" She asked unsurely.
"Averi. I don't promise, but I will keep your secret safe as long as you let me check your wrists and talk to me," I told her and she nodded.
"Wanna go back to sleep?" I asked her and she shrugged before turning away from me but lying down.
"Good night Aves. And don't think we're not going to talk about this tomorrow," I told her, sternly and I saw her nod under the dim moonlight.
She soon fell asleep and I too followed minutes later, the thoughts of the night's events consuming me.
Averi's POV:
When I woke up in the morning, all the events of the previous night rushed back and I felt sick. I jumped up before running to my ensuite bathroom and started to throw up in the porcelain toilet bowl.
I felt a hand pull back my hair and hold my forehead as I continued to throw up.
Once I was all done, Taylor let go of me and I brushed my teeth and we walked to my room.
"Are you alright?" She asked.
"Yeah. It was from some food I ate yesterday or something," I lied, not wanting to her the real reason.
"Okay..." She dragged.
"We have to talk about last night. Babe, you are so beautiful, why are you doing this to yourself?" She asked, and I took a breath.
"It's a release from reality. You wouldn't understand," I told her softly, knowing she would make me talk either way.
"Then make me understand," She replied, voice equal in volume.
"I was a foster kid. I was thrown from house to house, and never had a choice. I didn't have a choice of where to stay, or go. I wasn't able to take my belongings with me. I didn't have a choice to speak. I had to go with what was given. I had no control. Cutting, it gave me that release. I felt like I was in charge. Like it was my body, and I could inflict it with whatever I wanted. Everything in my life was held in the hands of others, but not this. I was the bigger person here. I could decide whether to die, or life. To hit a vein, or the surface. I was in charge. It gave me a sense of security in a way. I was a foster child, so I was bullied and hurt. I constantly battled inner demons  and cutting also helped silence them. As I said, I was in charge. And it made me feel good. Like for once in my life I wasn't the weakling and instead, I was the boss," I finished and looked up to see tears in Taylor's eyes.
"I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all of this. I wish I was there for you," She said, her voice breaking.
"You're here now..." I whispered and she pulled me into a hug.
"Please don't do it anymore. Tell me when you feel the urge to and I'll help you," She muffled into my shoulder.
"Okay..." I told her.
"Promise?" She asked nervously.
"I promise, Tay." I lied.
All of me knew I wouldn't stop, and part of Taylor probably knew, even if she refused to admit it.
-
"Can you go get the door bub?" Mom asked me and I ran to answer it.
It was later that day, and Taylor and I had spent the afternoon with Lauren, as if nothing had happened. Lauren had asked about a loud noise last night, and Taylor shrugged it off saying she was going to the bathroom and tripped.
"Hey guys!" Dinah's loud voice boomed through the foyer.
"HI DJ!" I screamed and jumped into her arms.
"I haven't seen you in days, Little Lo! I missed you!" She exaggerated and squeezed me tighter.
"DJ. You're choking me!" I laughed and she squeezed me tighter.
"Don't kill my daughter, please," Mom laughed and hugged Dinah.
"Hallo Tay. How's your boy toy?" Dinah asked Taylor who was blushing furiously.
"Her WHAT? Taylor Jauregui! WHAT THE HELL DID DINAH JUST ASK?" Lauren asked, furiously.
"Ain't no little boy allowed to kiss my baby sister," She practically growled and Taylor shook her head.
"He's not my boyfriend. Just a friend," she told her.
"The redness of your face says otherwise," I remarked making Dinah "ooh."
"That doesn't mean I don't like him," Taylor replied back and I laughed.
"Well this friend and I are gonna have a very serious chat next time I come go Miami," Lauren said, in all seriousness.
"Anyways...! I wanted to see if the cool kids wanted to hang out with me!" Dinah asked nobody in particular.
"I would love to D, but I'm busy," Lauren said and Dinah laughed.
"Not you, idiot. You're a Lauser! I meant these cool kiddies!" She laughed, pulled Taylor and I towards her, both of us on different sides of her.
"Oh..." Lauren grumbled.
"Yeah, they can go," She said to Dinah and walked away, Dinah following her, while Taylor and I went to change.
Dinah's POV:
Lauren turned to me when we walked into the kitchen.
"How is she?" I asked, worried about the small child, whom I loved like my own.
"She's...getting better. It's a struggle, but she's really trying," Lauren said.
"And how're you?" I asked and her tired emerald eyes met mine.
"I'm fine," She whispered.
"Lo..." I warned.
"Honestly D, I'm exhausted. Not from Aves. I wouldn't change her for the world. But just life, I guess," She told me, tears falling down her face.
"You've been on the go so much, you haven't been able to worry of let out your emotions lately. And I know how that is. So how about this: I take the kids and you take as long as you need, take a bath, get a massage, sleep. Just have a day to yourself. I can even keep them for the night. And I will make sure Averi eats, so don't worry," I told my best friend and she looked at me.
"Are you sure?" She asked and I nodded, completely happy.
"Plus, they like their cool Aunt DJ way better than old Lauren over here," I winked and Lauren laughed before hugging me tightly.
"They're probably done now," I told her after a minute, and we both headed back to the living room, where the two girls were waiting.
"C'mon kids. Let's go have some fun!" I exclaimed, wholeheartedly excited and Taylor followed me while Averi embraced her mom, kissing her temple, exchanging a few words and running after us.
Off to have some fun.
Averi's POV:
Dinah brought us to her car, and we sat in there, Taylor in front and me in back, for what seemed like forever.
"We're here!" Dinah exclaimed and I looked out of my window and couldn't believe what I was seeing.
"YOU BROUGHT US TO DISNEY LAND?!" I shrieked, excitement filling my body.
"Yes" Dinah laughed.
"YOU ARE THE BEST AUNT EVER!" I screamed and hugged her.
"Hey!" Taylor protested and I giggled, much more calmed down now.
"You are such an amazing aunt, that you're not even on the list. You're not comparable," I kissed her cheek and she "awhed".
"Well then," Dinah grumbled, jokingly and I pulled her into another hug.
"Stop being jealous! There's enough of my love to go around!" I told the two of them and they laughed and we headed off to the main door to buy tickets.
-
"DJ! Let's go on that one!" I said, excited.
"Ah nuh uh, Mini Jauregui. I love you to death, but I just went on the teacups for you. And this ride has so many twists, I wouldn't last two seconds. Let's go sit for a little bit," She told me and I grumbled, but obeyed, with Taylor in suit.
"Let's buy something to eat," She said and we walked to a food stand. Instantly, my fears heightened and nerves exploded.
Apparently, it was obvious how different my mood had gotten because Dinah pulled me to the side.
"Just get something small, babe. I know you can do it," She whispered and kissed my temple before standing up and ordering a churro for herself, and popcorn for Taylor.
"And what would the little lady like?" The employee asked.
"Um- can I please have the frozen lemonade?" I asked and he nodded and gave the three of us our food.
We walked back to the bench and I sat next to Dinah who squeezed my thigh for support once I had opened the little tub. I slowly ate the lemonade, letting each scoop melt before swallowing. Once I had finished half of it, I was completely full.
"DJ, I'm full," I whispered and she looked at the carton before giving me the okay to throw the rest away.
"I'm so proud of you," She told me, smiling and I smiled back.
She wouldn't be proud if she knew about my cutting.
After Taylor had finished her popcorn, we got up and began to walk around, stopping a few times for pictures with fans who recognized Dinah.
We decided to get in line for Space Mountain and were talking when we heard a shriek.
I turned around and there were 4 girls behind us, who had evidently noticed Dinah.
"Dinah, we're such big fans!" One of them, with blonde hair said excitedly and Dinah smiled warmly.
"Can we please get a picture?" Another girl asked, and Dinah nodded, putting her arms around her, for a selfie. She did that for each of them.
"Can we take a group photo with Taylor in it?" The blonde girl asked and Taylor walked up to them, first hugging them.
I would be lying if I said that I wasn't jealous of Taylor being asked to be in the pictures.
"Take the pictures," Someone pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Huh?" I asked  the blonde, who was towering over me.
"Take the fucking picture. Are you freaking stupid? You useless bitch." She growled lowly, before thrusting her iPhone into my hand.
I shakily took the pictures and then she came back to retrieve the phone and bent down to hug me.
"Kill yourself, bitch. Lauren feels sorry for you," She whispered into my ear, before getting up and hugging Dinah and Taylor.
"Dinah please follow me on twitter! @dinallysheart" (sorry if this is actually someone's username) The blonde told Dinah and Dinah followed her.
Then, her and her little posse went back to their spot, about 10 people behind us.
Dinah and Taylor were talking, but I was deep in thought.
Was I really that bad?
Did Mom really feel sorry for me?
Would life be easier if  I did kill myself?
Lately I had noticed that Lauren had looked tired, but I hadn't put together the pieces until now.
I was the cause of her tiredness.
Maybe I really was useless.
"Hey AJ?" Dinah's asked and I turned to her.
"Are you okay? I've called you quite a few times," She asked, worried.
"I'm fine," I said, faking a smile and grabbing her hand, walking foreword in the line.
-
Hallo Guys!
Sorry I haven't updated in forever!
But I'm here and here's a kinda long (ish?) update!
What do you guys want to see in the future? I love all your feedback!
Thanks!!
Next update:
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