Jauregui.

twenty nine

*5 months later...early May*
Italicized are flashbacks.
Averi's POV:

"Mom, I'm going to my room," I called out, to Lauren who was in the kitchen writing checks for something.

"Okay babe, remember to leave door o-"

"Yes Mom, I know. Leave the door open," I said, slightly annoyed, but I knew she wanted to best for me and understood that she couldn't fully trust me again. I remembered when she had first introduced the rule. It was a week since I had come home from the hospital. This new rule was very hard for me, because I was so used to having a confided space, for myself.

"Averi, we have to talk about new rules," Mom said and I nodded, knowing this would ultimately come.

"First and foremost, you have to eat every meal with me. You may not leave for an hour afterward, and if you have to use the restroom, I'll monitor," She began and I felt myself tearing up, and quickly tried to hide it but she saw.

"Babygirl..." She whispered, much more gently..." This is for the best. I love you princessa," She hugged me and I nodded.

She continued with the rules. "I will check your body for cuts everyday, but you can wear a bikini or something to cover yourself if you feel uncomfortable. You'll also go to therapy sessions once a week." The rules continued, all of them very much expected considering the situation, but the last rule was very sudden and something I didn't expect at all.

"Lastly, you can't close your door," Lauren told me and I stood up abruptly.

"No. That's not fair!" I shouted, highly mad. My room was my safe haven. To many people it was just a sleeping dorm, but to me, my room is my sanctuary. A place where I can be free to think, breathe, let go. A place of relaxation. A place that's closed to the outside world, but she was taking that away by opening the doors to everyone.
"That's an invasion of privacy!" I shouted at her.

"Averi Sophia Jauregui. Enough! These are the rules. And you will abide by them. Unless you want to go to a highly secured treatment facility, where I guarantee a "door rule" will be the least of your worries," She said sternly.

Slowly, I retracted, knowing she was right. I slumped on the couch and she walked around the couch to me and pulled me into her arms.

"Baby girl, I was so afraid I would loose you. And I'm not going to let that happen again. I know it may not sound fair, but I need to help you and this is the only way. Now the girls know these rules, so if they ever are here and I'm not, they will know what to do, although I'm going to try to be here all the time," She told me.

I took a deep breathe and smiled at her. I needed to get better for her. For the girls. For Taylor. And most importantly for myself.

Remembering the memory brought back many emotions. The first couple months were very hard. One night in particular, when there was a fight between Taylor and Lauren, at the hospital, two days before I was released.

"Lo?" Taylor voiced from next to me. Mom and Taylor hadn't left my bedside since I cooled down from
my meltdown. After the panic attack/meltdown I had, we all talked about recovery, and since then, they'd been attached to me.

"Yeah?" Lauren asked, looking up quickly from her laptop, first glancing at me, and visibly relaxing when she saw I was fine.

"I need to tell you something," She whispered and Lauren immediately stood up, knowing it was serious.

"What's up babe?" She asked and walked over to the bed, taking her little sister into her arms.

"The night before Averi tried to ki-kill herself, I sa-saw her cuts and made her pro-promise not to do it again, but didn't te-tell you," She said, looking down and I sighed. There was no point hiding now, everyone knew.

"You knew?" Lauren whispered, in disbelief.

"I'm so sorry Lo," Taylor cried. "She begged me not to tell. If I'd known what would happen, I would tell you."

"You KNEW my daughter was hurting herself and didn't tell me?" Lauren asked again, louder.

"You fucking knew. You knew and you didn't tell me? You bitch!" Lauren shouted standing up, in front of her taller sister.

"If you had told me I could've helped her!" She screamed, getting louder and  closer to Taylor, Taylor crying and apologizing.

The next couple seconds happened very quickly. Lauren pushed Taylor
into the wall and Taylor let her, crying loud. Dinah and Normani and Ally walked in that moment and Normani stopped Lauren from punching a hysteric Taylor who was picked up by Ally and the two were taken out of the room. Dinah came to me and helped me calm down when I didn't even know I was crying.

"AJ, what happened?" Dinah asked and I started to cry again.

"It was my fault. Taylor knew about me cutting and I made her promise not to tell," I told Dinah and she shook her head.

"It's not your fault. Lauren freaking out and hitting Taylor wasn't your fault babe," She said and I shook my head,and she hugged me until I cried myself to sleep.

"Averi, wake up honey," I heard Camila's voice and I slowly woke up, remembering the past events.

"Where's Tay—" I began.

"Taylor and Lauren made up. Lauren is still a little upset but came to her senses and realized why Taylor did what she did and knows it isn't her fault. Taylor decided to go back to Miami early, but she promised she would Facetime you when she arrived. Lauren and Normani are taking her to the airport. You've been asleep for five hours," Camila finished and I nodded.

At least they had made up. Even though it was my fault they had gotten in an argument in the first place.

I shook my head at the memory. That wasn't a good day. I grabbed my phone before jumping on my bed. My mom had deleted every form of social media I had and changed my Apple ID to hers, so I would ask her before I downloaded anything. I clicked on my camera roll and looked at my pictures. One stood out in particular. The girls were in it, and Dinah had me on her shoulders, doing a duck face. Camila was pulling one of my arms amd Lauren was pulling the other one. Normani had my left leg and Ally was grabbing onto my right foot. It was a basic picture, but there was significance to it. It was the first time in many years where I had finished a complete meal without purging, and the girls had taken me out to Santa Monica Pier afterward, and we took this at the end of the night.

"Dinner, Averi!" Lauren shouted. I got up from my desk. It was three months since the incident, and I had gotten much better. I was three months clean, and my eating was a lot better. I could almost finish a whole plate of food, which is something I couldn't of dreamed of months ago.

"Hey AJ," Variations of 'hellos' greeted me when I walked out. The girls were eating dinner with us.

I sat at the table and passed my plate to my mom, who placed some chicken, vegetables, and rice on it. I took a deep breath before beginning to eat. Today I would finish my entire meal. Today is the day. Slowly, but surely I ate, until my fork met ceramic, making a sound. I looked down and saw that my plate was empty and everyone was staring at me with the biggest smiles.

"Averi!" Mom squealed before coming and hugging me. For once I had finished a whole plate and most importantly, for once I didn't feel disgusting after doing so.

"Hey Averi, Camila called and asked if we wanted to hang out. The rest of the girls are in her room," Lauren asked me, interuptting my trail of thought.

"Sure!" I said, and got up, and followed my mom out of the door.

-

Honestly I'm so so sorry for not updating. I feel like this chapter is crap&I'm so sorry:(
I'll update a good chapter next time!
And also, I decided to do flashbacks because I feel like this story is dragging on way too long.
So I'm sorry if you wanted the full process but I will try to add a few flashbacks every chapter for a while!
Thank you for 65K and once again, sorry!