#8 :: Not Everything Is Shared

3) ALEXANDRA

"Mummy can I have a drink please?" Zack asked me.

"When we start our journey because you will want to go toilet and we are almost ready to go." I answered my son.

"But mummy I'm thirsty." He said. He then pouted. How could I say no to him? I gave him some juice and continued getting ready.

Tasha messaged us to all meet at some address and it was a good thing too I was bored inside and I didn't have work nor was Zack at nursery yet. My phone rang and it was my mum.

"Hey mum."

"Hey sweetie how are you and my grandson."

"We are okay. Just getting us ready."

"Oh okay where are you guys going?"

"Meeting with Tasha and the rest."

"Oh okay that's good."

"Yeah I haven't seen them in ages. I speak with Jess here and there but not as much as before. We are all busy these days." I said. Which was true.

"Okay well at least you won't be alone today of all days."

"Mum..."

"What? You can act like it's not a day you remember but I know you do. I also know my daughter. All this here is a front." I rolled my eyes and then sighed.

Today would have been nine years since me and Ryan got together...apart from the fact that he left me three years ago...yes it's a date I remember but not one I need to be reminded of. I know my mum means well but I just don't want to talk about it.

"I'm fine mum." I said sounding annoyed.

"Okay Alexandra." My mum said making me know she was annoyed at me. She don't call me Alexandra unless she's annoyed at me.

"I don't know why you're mad? I'm the one who got left three years ago to raise my son by myself so I don't get why me not wanting to talk about it annoys you."

"Because Alex...you won't move on. Like you said it's been three years. You have your nice home, your beautiful son, a good job and you are very attractive yet you fob off every guy that tries to get close to you. Why?" I rolled my eyes as my mother spoke.

My mum just wants me to be with someone, she is forever trying to set me up on blind dates.

"It's not that I'm not over Ryan, because believe me, I am...I just don't want to go through another heartbreak so I'll stay single, stay successful and stay being the best mum that I am to my son. I don't see what's wrong with that." I said sounding very frustrated. I know my mother meant well but she was forever interfering. I guess being her only child made her this way.

"If you don't go out there and meet someone you will never get over the fear of being heartbroken. Not everyone is like Ryan. But it's your life and you know best." My mother said.

I hated when she ended things on "it's your life and you know best." I don't know what it was but it annoyed me.

"Mum I going now, I'll talk to you later." I said and hung up before she could say anything else. I got Zack ready then jumped in the car. I noticed I needed petrol so made my way to the petrol station before starting my journey to meet Tasha and the girls.

In the car I thought about Ryan and wondered what he was doing. I was over him but I still loved him. I was with him from the age of fifteen and never thought it would have lasted so long let alone have a child with him. I went to an all-girls school and he went to an all-boys school. Our schools were five minutes apart so we always would see each other. We started talking and then we started going out. We even went same college and university. It was in university when everything started going wrong. He started hanging out with a different group of boys.

A group of boys who didn't respect me or our relationship. They always wanted him to go do things a single guy would do and Ryan like a dummy would go and do just that.

We was together for five years and he just wanted to throw it all away because he wanted to fit in. Wanted to have fun. The day I realised that he was willing to do that was the day I realised I had lost him. It hurt but I could not let him cheat on me. He swore blind he wasn't doing anything and he loved me and wanted me. He even stopped hanging around them.

I thought things were getting back on track; that was until I fell pregnant. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to tell him. When I did he looked at me in disgust. As if I was some one night stand trying to trap him. Told me he wasn't ready to be a father and wasn't ready to settle down. I laugh now as I think about it because how you can be with someone for over five years and say you ain't ready to settle makes no sense. Anyway he left me and I was heartbroken.

I never actually told the girls what happened; he also made the choice to go abroad and be a party rep. Due to this being the case I just made out like that wouldn't work and I left him. He's never seen Zack and never tried to. Last I heard he was sleeping with this girl called Carla who had always wanted him from we was in school.

So yeah, I am in fear that I could meet another Ryan so I don't bother meeting anyone. I don't have time for anything else either. I'm a full time mum with a full time job. I'm on track for getting a promotion in my accounting firm. So I don't need any drama throwing me off track.

As I drove into the petrol station I stalled. I don't know why, most probably because I wasn't paying attention to what I should have been. I heard a car blow their horn and knew I would have to apologise. I jumped out my car and walked over to the car behind me.

"I am so sorry." I said to the man in the car. He smiled and said not to worry about it. I went and paid for my petrol and as I came out I noticed the same man standing by my car.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"I hope so." He answered. His voice was very deep.

"Well how can I help?"

"I'm glad you asked. You can say that I am out of place for asking but I was wondering if I could take you out for dinner sometime." He asked very politely.

"What makes you think I am available for you to take me out to dinner?" I asked him.

"Well I noticed there wasn't a ring on your finger and I thought I could try my luck but if I was wrong then my bad I'll leave you to continue your day." I smiled. He was actually very polite and was quite handsome.

"Mmmmm...Well if I am honest I am just not into the whole dating thing right now." I answered truthfully.

"Fair enough. I tell you what. How about you put my number in your phone and if you ever feel hungry and remember me then give me a call. How does that sound? No pressure, the balls in your court." He said. I smiled and handed him my phone. He saved his number and his name was Calum. He smiled at me and left.

As I got back in my car I smiled at his approach. It was just a shame I wasn't ready to start dating I thought as I drove off to meet the girls.

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