#8 :: Not Everything Is Shared

24) STEPHANIE

I knocked Tasha's door hoping she was there.

So much has been going on I haven't been able to talk to her. We've been around each other trying to get our friends through their hard times. Now things had calmed down I needed to talk to her but most of all I missed and needed my best friend.

"Hey, Steph right?" A guy who I had seen before said as he opened Tasha's front door.

"Yeahhh .. I've seen you before but can't remember where.." I said to him.

"The police station. I was the random who saved Tasha." He said.

"Oh.. And here you are leaving her house." I said still confused.

"I'll leave her to explain it to you. Work calls. See you around." He says as he hopped into his car.

I made a mental note to ask about him.

"Hello?" I called out.

She popped her head out from the kitchen surprised to see me.

"Oh. Hey.. Come in." She said.

"Okay okay... Let me speak... First of all I am sorry. Yeah I was mad at you but if I'm honest I should have known you wouldn't have been aware and let all this happen let alone not tell me. I just wanted to be angry at everybody. But when you came to the house that time and left me; I had a lot to think about. I can't be mad at you. Shit, I can't even stay mad at Natalie. If what she said is true she fell for him before she knew he was with me. I'm not excusing it. But he was the one in a relationship. He should have known better. But he didn't and for that I will never forgive him. But I need my friend, I need my best friend. I'm about to go through a divorce and I need all the support I can get. On top of that.. I'm pregnant." I said.

"Oh lord." Tasha said making us both laugh.

"I know right. Talk about bad timing. I wanted to divorce him and never have to deal with him again and then what happens? I find out I'm pregnant. This is another reason I can't have any hate in my heart. All that negative energy isn't good for me or the baby."

"You're right. And you know I'm here for you babe. I just needed you to come around on your own. I couldn't and wouldn't force you. But I'm glad you're here. What did Malcom say when you told him about the baby? I'm pretty sure he's going to put up a fight to try and keep you."

I never said a word I just started twiddling my thumbs.

"Stephanie... He doesn't know does he?"

"No..."

"STEPH!!"

"What?! You said yourself that he won't want to give up on the marriage and I don't want him bothering me begging and pleading. This is already hard as it is. The love of my life, the only man I have ever loved ever given my heart to had two children behind my back. I wake up and go sleep every day thinking what did I do? What was wrong with me? Why do people love to hurt me. I mean first my parents don't love me and get rid of me and now my husband cheats on me." I said as the tears began to fall.

"Hey hey hey... Come on now. Come here." Tasha said as she hugged me.

This was the first time I cried in front of anyone over Malcom. This was also the first time I spoke on my biological parents in years.

Tasha had made us go into the living room where it was more comfortable.

"Listen to me... You're parents are not your parents. They are John and Jane Doe. You're parents are the ones that raised you and they did a damn great job. Look at you. A junior solicitor at 26. The youngest on your team. You are a someone to look up to. I'm so proud of you. You have been through a lot yes. But you always push and come through shining. This baby is going to have the best mummy because you have so much love to give. This thing with Malcom was unfortunate. He messed up. He lost out on something good and for the rest of his life he will have to pay that price. I'm not saying don't cry, I'm not saying don't be sad, but don't let it consume you. Don't let sadness take over your life."