#8 :: Not Everything Is Shared

36) STEPHANIE

I had put off seeing Malcom's mother for long enough and I couldn't do it much longer. I was due anytime soon and it's the least I could do.
As I pulled up to her house I wondered if Malcom would be there. I hadn't seen him since the meeting and didn't particularly want to see him. Luckily Marcia opened the door.

"Oh. I thought you wasn't coming. I thought you was mad at me." She said as she let me in.

"No, I just didn't want you to try and convince me to forgive Malcom." I said as we sat down.

"Why the hell would I do that?" Mummy Marcia asked.

"Because he's your son." I answered.

"Yes. But he's a cheat. And as I told you; don't allows him or anyone else to cheat on you. Malcom's father and I have told him and our other children, time and time again once married; to live by the vows that they took. If they can't and their partner leaves them then that's their business. Malcom has brought shame onto me. Not only did he cheat but he managed to have TWO babies out of marriage with someone else and all NOW I haven't met them. So no. I'm not here to try and persuade you to forgive my son. But I still see you as my daughter and I want a relationship with my grandchildren. You see.. I don't have long left..."

"Wait. What?" I said interrupting her.

"This was why I asked you to come by. I just wished you did when I told everyone else. I'm dying Steph. My body is failing me. I should say I failed my body really. All those warnings. Me ending up in hospital; it was my body warning me. Nevertheless I still smoke and I still drank and now my organs - all of them have failed me. Even now I should be sitting with a machine that helps me breath easier but one - I hate that damn thing and two - I didn't want you seeing me in that state..."

"Where's the machine mum?" I said interrupting her again.

"Steph, I don't want you fussing..."

"You think you gonna sit here and tell me you're dying and that you should be using a machine to help you breathe and think I'm not gonna make you go use it? You won't die on my watch and you won't die because you don't want me to see you this way. Now come on. Where's the machine?" I demanded.

"In my bedroom." Mum said reluctantly.

"Well lets go." I told her.

We headed up to the bedroom and I sat on the chair whilst mum sat up in the bed with the machine helping her breathe. Whilst spending time with mum it was only then did I notice how bad she was. Every two hours she was taking pills and making sure she was drinking water. I noticed the difference in when she needed the machine as her breathing would get short as if she just ran a marathon.

I felt bad. She asked me to come see her months ago and I was so wrapped up in thinking it was about Malcom I didn't come. Little did I know she wanted to share this with me.

"So... how long you got left?" Mum asked me.

"Anytime now really." I said as I rubbed my stomach.

"So what you doing here then?" She said to me.

"Keeping busy. I can't just stay cooped up at home because then she'll never come. My baby bag is always in my boot along with the baby seat so I'm prepared." I told her.

"My first granddaughter. I just wish I would be here for her first birthday." Mum said sadly.

I held mums hand.

"You never know. You may." I said being hopeful.

"Nah. I really don't think I'll make it to the end of the month. I'm so weak. I'm always tired." She admitted.