#8 :: Not Everything Is Shared

23) ALEXANDRA

Today was my mums nine night and just like since the day I found out she was dead I haven't wanted to do anything. Work has been understanding and allowed me to continue working from home with minimal work but I also have compassionate leave which is what I've taken at the moment.

"You have visitors..." Calum said to me as he stepped to the side and in walked Stephanie Jessica and Natasha.

"Before you lot even start..." I started to say before I was cut by Steph.

"Well at least you know we are going to start. Get up Alex. Your Aunty is down there running the show and not knowing what the hell she's saying or doing!" Stephanie said.

"You know as soon as I came through the door Zack ran up to me and said "Aunty Jess mummy is sad and I can't make her happy" and for the sake of him not seeing another sad adult I had to smile and tell him that I'll help him. So when I go back downstairs it WILL be with you." Jessica said.

That one hurt me. I didn't want my baby upset or thinking he can't make me happy.

"We've been here before haven't we? When my dad died. I too was a mess. But with you lot by my side I got through it. And now the only thing different is that we are older but we are all here to get you through it. But you need to put one foot in front of the other because we can't do that for you." Tasha said.

I looked at them all. I loved these girls. Being an only child I never had siblings but these girls were my sisters and blood couldn't tell me any different.

"I.. You guys don't actually know. I never knew my mum was dying till the day before she died. Then she wanted me to help her. I said no. I was angry. But the next day I decided to make it right. Which I did. We had a great day and it ended on a high. Then she died. I will never know if she died naturally or not. I didn't want to put her body through that so I just accepted her death. It all happened so quick. Now here we are nine days later and I'm still not ready."

"You will never be ready. Ever. So get that out of your head. Don't think about how you are going to feel tomorrow or next week. Think about today and getting through it. Then the same tomorrow. Okay?" Tasha said

"I guess I do need to get out of bed. I kinda smell." I said

"Kinda? That's the first thing I wanted to say to you when I walked in here." Jess said making me smile.

"I'll find you something to wear." Steph said.

I got up and showered. I must admit after showering, washing my hair and brushing my teeth it did make me feel a bit better.

When I went back to my room everyone stopped talking and they looked like they were up to something. Calum was also in the room.

"What?" I said.

"Erm.. Ladies...?" Calum said.

They all looked at him like how dare he leave whatever it is to them.

"Okay.. So be calm.. Don't be mad. But.. Calum just said that... Your dad is downstairs..." Jess said.

I laughed.

"No. No he ain't. Why would he be downstairs?"

"Well the man said he was Alex's dad. And your Aunty seemed to know him." Calum said.

"Steph... Did you find something for me to wear?" I asked her.

"Yeah this dress..." I stopped her.

"Nah..." I said and went into my wardrobe.

I found a pair of black leggins and a nice black top to wear and my ugg slippers. This was my home and everyone else could dress up if they wanted but I wasn't. Plus if my dad was downstairs I ain't trying to be dressed all night because I may have to fling his ass out!