#8 :: Not Everything Is Shared

52) ALEXANDRA

"It's only right that with it being my birthday tomorrow I come and see you today and make sure you look nice." I said as I finished tidying up my mums grave.

"I had a feeling it was you taking care of your mothers grave..." I hear a voice say to me.

I turn around to see my estranged father.

"What are you doing here?"

"I always come here."

"Why? Don't you think you hurt her enough when she was alive? Now you want to taunt her now she's dead."

"Alexandra please..."

"Don't! Don't please me! Don't say my name! You have no right to be here!"

"I loved her! No matter what you think."

"You loved her?" I chuckled. "Funny that. How you love her and her sister?"

"It was complicated."

"Was? Easier now she's dead! Now you can love her sister in peace? Without mum forbidding it!"

"No. that's not what I meant!"

"So what did you mean then?"

"Not that it's an excuse, even though it's more than likely to come across as one. I was young and your mother was sometimes... well a nag... your aunt... she was more fun. I was a typical young boy not ready to commit. When you're mother found out; she forbid for us to be together. By this time I was really into your aunt. I didn't want to come between your family because believe it or not your mum and aunt were best friends. Your aunt and I made the worst decision to hurt your mother and we never ever got to talk to her and apologise before she died. So when your aunt contacted me to tell me your mum had passed I was truly shocked. I was even more upset with myself for not coming to her before she died to ask her if she would forgive me. Your aunt and I stopped messing around once your mum stopped talking to her. She said losing her sister was not meant to happen. That's when we realised the love we had for each other was nowhere near as strong as the love we had for your mum."

"Oh boo fucking hoo!" I said.

"Alexandra! I am your father and I demand you show me some respect!"

"NO!! Fuck you and fuck your demands! I was the one by mums side! Yes she was a fucking nag but she was MY nag! She was the only one by my side when I had my breakdown! Where was you? So excuse me if I don't respect you! Excuse me if I don't see you as no father of mine! What did you think would happen? We would share stories of mum and try to build a relationship? No! My mother AND father died the day my mum did. You know, my sons father also said he couldn't commit to me and my son. So when you was talking all I could think about was how hurt I used to be. Which means that mum was hurt too. And anyone who was the reason as to why my mother was hurting I have no reason to talk to them. So I'm going to tell you this once and once only. When you see me act like you don't. I haven't had a father all this time and I don't want or need one now." I said as I got up to leave.

"Happy birthday.... for tomorrow." He said making me stop and turn around.

"What did you say?"

"I said... Happy Birthday for tomorrow."

"You remember my birthday?"