#8 :: Not Everything Is Shared

4) STEPHANIE

They say you should never doubt your instinct or a gut feeling and I know my gut is telling me something. I called Malcom not once, not twice but three times. And on the last call it went straight to voicemail. I had to look at my phone to make sure it was the right number I had called. Something was not right. I then decided to call the number of the hotel where he was not only staying but where the conference was being held.

"Hello welcome to the Halton Hotel. Your speaking to Vanessa how may I help."

"Hello Vanessa I have an urgent message for my husband who is staying there and also is attending a conference there."

"Erm, well we don't have any conferences this week. But I can double check for you." I heard her say.

"My husband is Malcom Valentine and he said he was there for a business banking conference."

"Okay just checking for you now Mrs Valentine..." She said. "Yep...just as I expected we are actually having a refurb done so there will be no conferences this week or next." She told me.

What was this man up to?

"Okay could you check his room to see if he's there? Must have been a miscommunication between us."

"Sure. I'll just type in his name and see...Erm...are you sure he said he was here?"

"Yes, Yes. The Halton." I answered.

"Well...Erm...there doesn't seem to be anyone of that name." She responded.

"Okay, thank you." I said and hung up.

I was really annoyed. Imagine I was calling to tell him his mother is sick and in hospital!

I had been having this bad feeling lately. A feeling I wasn't sure of. But it only occurred whenever it had something to do with my husband. I got up and got ready and went to the hospital. If he couldn't drag himself away from whatever it is that was so important that he couldn't return my calls then I would just go instead. I left him a message so he would eventually know that he had to go see his mother. As I got into the car I decided to call my mum.

"Hey how's my baby?" She answered.

"Hey mum." I replied.

"Oh no. Talk to me. What's wrong?" She asked. I smiled at how she would just always know when something wasn't right.

I sighed.

"I have this feeling, it's not a good one. But lately I have felt like Malcom has been distant. I've been trying to shrug it off. But then today I called his phone twice and it rang out, the third time it went voicemail. I was only calling to tell him that his mother was in hospital so I called the hotel where the conference AND where he was supposed to be staying; and there is no conference nor is there a Malcom Valentine staying there." I told her.

"Baby girl, he's cheating." My mother said so bluntly. If it wasn't such a serious accusation I would have laughed at how she just came out with it. Not a question or suggestion; but a fact.

"Thanks mum." I said.

"Look, I am not going to sugar coat this. All the signs are there. How you will know is that he won't call you back but he will end up at the hospital. Then when you speak to him don't make on like you know. Ask how the conference went. You already know there was no conference. If he don't tell the truth. You know why. I won't lie to you. Just like when you asked me why your parents didn't want you I told you the truth. All your life I have told you the truth." My mum said. Which was true.

My mother wasn't my blood mother. I was adopted by her and her husband who I call my dad. They are the only parents I have ever known.

It hasn't been easy. I'm white and they're black. You do the maths. Don't get me wrong they are the best parents. We have such a big family. They have seven kids. Four of their own and three adopted. A Chinese girl, an Indian boy and I. The family and the household was as comfortable and perfect as can be; their actual children all accepted us as their siblings. It was the people outside of it that was a problem. They judged me for being white but having black parents. Called me all sorts of names. It didn't help that naturally I preferred hanging with black people. I was called a 'Wigga', a 'wannabe black girl'. All sorts. Then when I got older my preference in men were black. It was hard growing up but I got through it. With the help of my family and my best friends.