#8 :: Not Everything Is Shared

7) ALEXANDRA

"I am pleased to say you are now a fully trained Accountant! You passed your probation and you passed your training. Well done Alex!" My manager said to me. I wanted to jump and hug her but instead I composed myself and smiled. This is what I wanted this is what I had been waiting for. The last year was very hard but I am pleased it's all over. It was all worth it in order for me to be where I wanted to be.

"You have no idea how pleased I am. This is the break I needed. I want nothing more for than my son and I to want for nothing." I told her.

"I understand. My kids are the reason I started this business. I do this for them." I nodded as she spoke.

After Marie's first child she started building up this account firm. It started off just her and now she has three floors and a team of sixty. She then continued.

"I saw potential in you from the day you walked through those doors and you haven't failed me; in fact you have done even better than I expected and I expected for you to do very well! Enjoy the weekend Alex, the hard work starts from Monday." Marie said smiling. I smiled back looking forward to it!

I skipped to my car feeling like all my hard work was finally paying off.

The last three years had been very hard. I fell into deep depression when Ryan left me. I then found it hard to bond with Zack which made my early stages of motherhood very difficult. Only my mum was aware of this I managed to hide it from the girls as I acted like I didn't want visitors as Zack was too small. Any excuse I could find I used. It worked because Jess was busy with her, Sonny and Jasmine; Steph was all loved up with Malcom as well as busy studying to become a lawyer. Then there was Tasha who was out of London studying. I reckon if she was around then I wouldn't have got away with it. She's the big sister to us all and always knows when something is up and does a good job getting it out of us. It's a good thing most of the time but I was grateful she wasn't around for this. She would have killed Ryan.

Nevertheless I had to kick the depression and thanks to my mum she got me back on my feet and focused. She allowed me to study and do this placement by having Zack most of the time for me. Then she started going on and on about me dating when I just wasn't ready. We would fall out because of it so I didn't feel right having my child with her if we was arguing. I was already in a routine so I had no choice but to build a bond with Zack and love him like I should have from the beginning. He yearned for me which made me feel even worse as I felt I had failed him.

One day he fell and was rushed to hospital. I went into panic mode thinking the worst and it was then I realised how much Zack meant to me. It was then I realised everything I was doing was more for him than for me. Since then it's always been me and my Zacky.

I pulled up to my mums house excited to see him as I hadn't seen him all this week due to my deadlines I needed to meet in order to get the promotion. As soon as I put the key through the door I heard him running and screaming.

"Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!!" I picked him up and blew raspberries in his neck making him laugh and drop whatever was in his hand.

"Mummy stop. Dropped my sweeties." I rolled my eyes at him as I put him down.

"Why have you got such so much sweets?" I asked as I looked at the big bag of sweets

"Nanna buy it." He said before running off. I laughed and went into the living room where my mum was.

"Heyyyyy mum!!" I said and sat on her lap. I knew she would cuss because I was bigger than her.

"Girl. Get your big ass off me." She said and I laughed.

"Nooooo I don't want to!" I said sounding like a big child.

"What are you so happy about? Have you met a guy?" My mum asked sounding happy.  I kissed my teeth and stood up.