#8 :: Not Everything Is Shared

45) NATASHA

I had every intention on going to Jesse party. But when I found out I was pregnant I just couldn't face anyone. I was pregnant with a rapists baby. I had thought, hoped and prayed that it was Reece's but it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. When the doctor told me the dates I knew it was Josh's. I felt sick. I didn't know what to do. I didn't believe in having an abortion. But I didn't know what to do with having a baby that was the product of me being raped. I thought about if I could love my child. Would I look at him or her and see Josh and feel angry. I had so much feelings and really didn't know what to do. I've told no one and it's eating me up inside. I want to tell someone but I feel so ashamed.

I made my way downstairs wondering why my sister kept calling my name.

"Why do you..." I stopped at the sight of my best friends standing there; looking somewhat annoyed but worried at the same time.

I just started crying. Natalie came over to me and held me.

"Sis... look. These lot are worried sick! I haven't told them a thing but I did tell them to come today. You have to talk to them... Tell them." She said to me.

"I... I can't. You tell them." I said.

"Me? Really?"

"Yeah. I can't repeat it. I can't."

"Erm... well I wasn't expecting to be the one to tell you. So I'm just going to come out and say it. The reason Tasha has disappeared isn't because she was upset about her and Josh breaking up. It's because... it's because Josh raped her."

"WHAT?" Alex and Steph said whilst Jess just put her hands over her mouth.

"Yeah... turns out Josh was behind the attack. He planned it so he could save her. So he could get into her life. Apparently she's the reason him and his wife broke up. She gave advice to a woman who was his wife and she left. You know during the time she had Talk2Tasha active."

"Oh my God. T..." Alex said.

"There's more..." Natalie said.

"What more could there be?" Steph asked.

"He... made her pass out before raping her. Then disappeared before Reece found her. He still hasn't been found. This Josh name isn't his real name. The police are not sure what his real name is. He's basically a John Doe."

"So he's still out there?" Alex said.

"Yeah." Natalie answered.

"Okay... that's fine. We'll kill him. It's okay." Alex said.

I laughed inside. This was exactly what I expected from Alex. Violence.

"Because of all of this... Tasha doesn't go anywhere." Natalie said.

"T... why didn't you call me? You know I would have been right by your side. Why go through this on your own. No offence Natalie but I know you pushed her away at times. That's what I mean when I say on your own. I get not everything is shared. I get we all hide stuff until we are ready to say but this is big. Maybe having your loved ones around will help you try to get back to you have somewhat of a normal life." Steph said to me.

"Well... I was going to tell you guys. But when I was able to say it and not break down and cry. It's hard." I said.

"That's why you didn't come to the party?" Jessica asked.