I'm In Love With My Best Friend (A Diggy Simmons Love Story)

Chapter 43: How Do I Breathe? (Diggy)

She's in my arms, on the ground, and I can feel her falling through my hands like sand. She feels so intangible. She's right next to me but she feels so far. This is the worst feeling in the world but what was I supposed to do, deny my possible responsibility as a dad and just walk away from the whole situation? I'm not that type of man and never will be and I thought this was something Viana would understand.

I'm not going to say she is being selfish because I can understand the hurt but I don't think she's looking at the whole picture. There is a baby out there who may share my blood and who may need me.

Is it bad that part of me wants this baby to be mines? It sounds horrible but the idea of having a son is something I've always wanted and at one point in my life I thought I wanted that with Jessica. I know these thoughts would definitely drive Viana away from me.

"Please let me go." She cried out.

I let go of my hold on her because I felt like there was nothing left for me to do. I just walked away. This situation is not a mistake I've made so why should I be punished for it? At one point Jessica was the love of my life and Viana was only my best friend so why should I feel guilty? Why should she make me feel guilty?

I decided to let her take the car and catch an Uber home. I need time to think so I'm sure she does too. I had the Uber drive around for almost hours just so I could get my thoughts together. As I'm sitting in the Uber on my way home my phone starts buzzing. I didn't recognize the number so I didn't really want to answer it. I threw my phone in the seat and closed my eyes the rest of the ride.

When I got to the house Viana wasn't there. I figured it would take her some time to get here. We had the house to ourselves because her cousin went on a business trip back in New York and part of me wishes I had gone too. I plugged my phone up to the charger and seen the same number had called me five more times.

I hopped in the shower to cleanse every thought in my mind. My baby. My best friend. My baby? All of these pictures of my childhood hit me like the water running down my back. It broke me down to my knees. I felt weak, I felt like I had just been hit, I couldn't breathe. I turned the water off and tried to get away from all the steam in the bathroom. I struggled into the room and laid on the bed trying to work on my breathing and I couldn't. I don't know what's going on but it's killing me.

My phone started ringing. I swore it was on silent. I guess I hit it on my way to the bed. I reached for it and answered the call.

"Hello?" I tried to sit up.

"Is this Daniel Simmons?" Whoever was on the phone was soft spoken.

I sat all the way up. "Yes, who is this?"

"I'm calling from Kaiser the hospital here in LA, your daughter and fiancé are here and I need -"

I gave her no time to finish her sentence. I rushed to Viana's car and drove down to the hospital. My heart was racing and my vision was getting blurry. My eyes were watering. I don't know what's going on but whatever it is I can't handle it. The two people I love the most are at a hospital for who knows what.

I ran up to the front desk.

"Where is she?" I tapped on the front desk counter.

"I'm sorry, who are you looking for?" Her voice sounded familiar.

"Are you the girl I talked to on the phone?" I searched her eyes.

"You must be Daniel, hi I need you -"

I cut her off again. "I need you to tell me what room she's in. Where's my daughter?"

"One second sir." She got up and walked away into the back room.

She came back holding my daughter. Thank God she looked okay. She handed her to me and I kissed her head. "Where's her mom?"

"She's in room 442."

I started to walk away.

"Im sorry, sir?" She called out for me.

I stopped to look at her face. By just the look on her face I knew something was wrong.

"I need her nurse to go in with you." She picked up the phone.

"I'm not going to harm her if that's what you mean." I looked at her.

"Hi, Mary?" She paused. "Okay great." She put the phone down. She looked at me. "It's not her I'm worried about."

Just as she said that a nurse walked up to me. "Hi, you must be the fiancé, follow me." She walked down the hall.

My heart dropped when we got to the room. This is not a position I thought I would ever see her in. I was trying to be as strong as I could be.

"What happened?" I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"She was in a collision that caused a lot of chest trauma. She asked for you when they brought her in. She's not responsive right now but I'm sure she can hear you." She smiled at me and placed her hand on my shoulder. "The doctor will be in shortly if you have any more questions, okay?"

All I could do was nod and I guess she took that as a gesture to leave because she disappeared down the hall.

I sat down next to her and just held her hand. This felt unreal. I wouldn't wish this feeling on anybody.

"You must be the fiancé?" Her doctor looked at me.

I nodded. Wasn't necessarily true but after this I'm thinking I should've sealed the deal with us.

"So your wife to be was involved in a very bad accident, but before the accident she said that she had felt like she couldn't breathe. Was there any medication she was taking?"

"Aspirin for her headaches, thats all." I looked at the doctor. "Did she say why she couldn't breathe?" I rubbed her hand.

"No, but it could've been stress. Her X-ray wasn't as bad as expected. I believe she's going to be okay." He smiled.

I shook my head. "I have a question, if she was talking when she first got here why is she not responsive now?"

"It could be shock. She should be fine."

I chuckled. "Did you just say she should be?"

"I know that this is hard for you but it's best you stay calm for her and your little one." He shrugged his shoulders.

"I think it's best you get out of my face, right now."

He left. None of this is making sense to me. All I know is the love of my life is laying in a hospital bed.

I now understand why I felt like I couldn't breathe. I'm sure I felt and am feeling everything she did because she is me and I am her, so if in the worst case scenario she doesn't make it, how do I breathe?