I'm In Love With My Best Friend (A Diggy Simmons Love Story)

Chapter 42: What Hurts The Most (Viana)

I've spent the majority of my life being in love with Diggy. He is someone who has broken my heart and also someone who has mended it but out of all the things we've been through this takes the cake. Ivery is everything I could ever need to be happy because she is me and she is him. She is our love. She's all I have left to hold onto him.

I thought I could handle this if it were true but just the possibility is hurting me. I've given up so much love and so much time and I feel like it all has been wasted. Maybe God placed Diggy in my life to give me what I needed, Ivery. Would we be here if she wasn't? Are we holding onto us for her? All these questions I wouldn't dare ask out loud.

I'm tempted to do what I'm best at, running. I want to take my baby and go to a place where I can breathe. I am suffocating. I am drowning myself. I am no longer me. I am a fictional character who holds in every ounce of emotion and uses it to survive. Jessica held every part of me and possibly still does. Her son's eyes are probably just as bold as his. I bet he has a smile that lights up the whole room.

All men dream about is their first born son. Someone who is going to grow into a man and carry on his legacy. I could not give that to him if any of this is true.

"Viana wait." Diggy chased after me.

I turned around. "For what?"

"I'm sorry." He looked in my eyes.

I nodded and bit my lip so I could pause the tears that were about to flow.

"Me too." I walked away.

I made my way to the car and put Ivery in her car seat and as I slammed the door ready to make a run for it he grabbed me and held me tight. That triggered every tear in my body to fall down my face. I was breaking, collapsing right in his arms, falling to the floor with no more strength left to hold me up. He fell right along with me.

But what hurts the most is that in this moment, at my breaking point, I don't feel defeated by Jessica, I feel defeated by the very man I loved the most.