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S u r v i v e

Mariko

Maybe I was too hard on her as a child, it made her untrusting, unfaithful. She detested friendship.

I'm glad she had Ryunosuke. She had someone to rely on, to bounce back to, to fight for.

What did I have? My damaged pride? My raging emotions? I had nothing. Nobody.

I was fine with that.

For once, I could be the good guy. I could die with no regrets, no doubts. It would be for a good cause. Yoko made me realize that the past was in the past.

There's no way to change things now. Killing her won't make any difference. Torturing Ryunosuke won't do much either.

The truth was I died the moment I left the Port Mafia. I've just been a walking corpse since then. Maybe Yoko could end my suffering and lie me down eternally.

Maybe she could do me that one last favor.

"I thought of you as a sister." She uttered looking down at the ground. Her wrist was bleeding more, the bone snapped badly.

I deserve this.

"I was jealous of what you had." I smiled.

Just do it already.

"You should've talked to me."

Kill me already.

"What's the point now. We're at the point of no return Tawada."

End my life.

"I guess you're right."

I beg you Yoko.

She reached behind her pulling out a sleek metal pistol. I recognized it, a present from Dazai for her birthday. That was months before she would leave them.

We're all traitors deep down. We have to learn where our loyalties lie. If not, who's there to trust?

I never gave my loyalty to another. I kept to myself, taking on all the burdens. So I would take all of those with me to the grave.

"This could've been different." She almost pleaded. I guided the gun in her hand to my forehead and smiled.

"We both know otherwise."

Tears fell from her eyes as she watched me.

I deserve this. This is my karma. So Yoko, promise me one thing. Survive. For you and for the man who's willing to do anything for you.

As I closed my eyes I felt nothing but a relieving sense of acceptance. A sensation that brought a smile to my face when my dearest friend, my sister, pulled the trigger.