Savior

6

I sat down next to Cameron while he scrolled through Twitter.

He looked over and smiled, as did I.

"You're just gonna stare at me, or are you gonna say something?" he chuckles after a few mintues. I break my attention away and look away. He looks to me and turns away with a smile.

"Your hair is absolutely messed up." I laugh. He ruffles it around and laughs, "Like sex hair."

I tilt my head, "With who? Your pillow?"

He throws his head back and laughter floated from his throat. I chuckle and get up and walk to the door, "I gotta go and get-" I'm stopped by the presence of Matt. He notices Cameron on the couch, "Oh I didn't- I'll go." Before he turns away I grab his arm, "I was just about to head downstairs Matt, come.." He nods slightly and follows me to the elevator.

"I didn't know Cameron was staying here.." Matt says breaking the silence. "Yeah, he's only staying a few days. Nash is there too." I explain.

He nods.

"I'm sorry.." he says aloud. I look to my feet as we walk.

He always does this. We argue. He says things, I say things. We get mad, don't talk for a few weeks then he's back, asking for forgiveness or pleading that I hear him out.

"Seriously Jasmine, I am. I don't want you to end up hating me. I couldn't bare on with you hating me because I acted like a baby." his voice was serious. I stay looking at my feet. He pulls my chin to look up at him and he smiles, "Jas," he says.

Ugh his voice.

"Hmm.." I respond.

"Forgive me? I know I started getting more into what I was doing and didn't stop to think how you felt.. Just forgive me?" He asks.

I frown slightly, and pull away, "I can't Matthew. Honestly. I love you, I do, I've had so much time to realize I don't want to be second in your life anymore. I want to be the person you call first or the first person who gets to hear how your day was. I can't get that with you, and you know that's true." I sniff back tears, looking up at him with pain. He pulls me closer and kisses my forehead, "I still love you; if this isn't want you want then I'll back off. I just want you to be happy."

I needed more time to erase the pain.

I smile into his chest, and look up at him once more and he wipes the tears under my eyes. "Can't we at least be friends? If you were out of my life completely I'd go insane."

This guy has been apart of my life for so long. How do you even fully move on? How do I even move on from something that is all I know about love? How do I just be friends with a guy that I once called mine?

*****

I walked back up to my apartment and opened the door to Cam and Nash playing on the Wii.

"How was the talk with Matt?" Nash asks. "Uh, I'd rather not talk about it right now, I'm about to meet Cat right now." I say and walk to my room.

I quickly got dressed and passed by both boys without a goodbye.

Before I got to the elevator Cameron called from behind me, I turned around and he was jogging over.

"You okay? You looked upset?" He asks. I shake my head, "I'm okay, really, I just got done crying so yeah."

"You cried?"

"I'm fine though Cameron, seriously, I just gotta go meet Cat for lunch." I assure him. He nods and smiles before walking away.

*****

Cat's eyes looked over the menu and I fidgeted with my straw. She looked over and tilted her head, "Okay, the fuck is wrong Jas." I was startled as I looked at my concerned friend.

I shake my head, "Nothing, I'm fine."

"Uh huh... Bullshit, tell me."

I rolled my eyes and looked back at my drink, "Matt came by," I look up at her non surprised expression, I continue, "He wanted to get back together but we eneded it as just friends." She purses her lips.

I bit my lower lip so it doesn't tremble from holding back tears. She frowns, "Jas, gosh I know how hard that probably was. I'm sorry.."

I smile weakly, "It needed to be done."

She nods in agreement.

I continue to mess with my straw as she looks to her menu.