Recently, me and Matt got into a small argument. I felt it was my fault so knowing that I'm stupid, I apologized more than 3 times.
He told me it wasn't fair that I told Cameron I loved him. I had gotten maybe too heated and responded with, "Why? Because I don't love you?!"
I knew it hurt him.
I wanted it to.
And I hated that I did that to him.
~ Flashback ~
"You just explained to me that I would be your everything." Matt rolled his eyes. I scoffed, "I'm sorry."
"Are you?" he fussed, "because I just wanted to see if we could still just stay close."
"Matt," I begged, "can we please just sit and talk instead of you always walking out on me?" tears came down my cheeks like two small hot streams.
He ran his hand through his hair and gritted his teeth, looking away.
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"Matt.." I pleaded softly.
"We're going around and around Jasmine. How do I.. Fuck. How do I continue to love you if all you do is fall for someone else." He yelled.
His voice was deep, I cringed as he looked at me fumming.
"I've never been loved Matthew. And I know I'm an idiot but when someone shows me how I should be treated I get attached. I'm sorry I'm so fucked up." I cried.
"That can't always be your excuse." he shook his head.
I sniffled, "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing Jasmine. God dammit." he yelled again.
~ Flashback Ended ~
I hated the entire fight. I hurt him and he hurt me. No matter what I do, I hurt people because I can't get over my past.
I spent a few days in bed until Cathy dragged me out.
She's my angel. I adored her. I always wish there is something I could do to thank her for everything. Words just won't do.
*****
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