Savior

14

I was thinking about what Matt had said last week. Still, it hurt me for some reason. He hasn't contacted me at all. But I've seen him post on Twitter and Snapchat. He seems happy, mostly because he doesn't have to worry.

It was close to 5 PM and I was supposed to get ready to go to Nash's apartment for a movie night thing he put together. I didn't even want to go honestly.

Cameron had tried calling but I haven't picked up.

He's also came by a few times but I acted like I wasn't even home. I know it was most likely making him frustrated with me. My phone beeped for the 10th time and I knew it was Nash asking if I was still coming.

I think I'm just not gonna go.

I'm going to stay in pajamas and sleep the rest of the day. I traced over the markings on my thighs and sighed.

Just then, a loud knock was at the door. I rolled my eyes, and just headed to my room.

"I have a key you potato!" Cathy shouted. I groaned and threw the pillow over my head. "Where have you been Jas? After that Matt thing, you haven't spoken to anyone or even mentioned what he said!" she growled as she entered my room.

"It doesn't matter, seriously." I said sitting up bringing my knees to my chest.

She scoffs, "Yes it does. You hurt, I hurt."

"I'm good." my voice broke miserably. She sat next to me and sighed, "Get dressed Jas, we're going to Nash's."

I shook my head, "No way. Cameron will be there, I've been trying to avoid him for the longest."

"No way Jasmine, hiding isn't helping you."

I roll my eyes, "I think it does." Cathy eyes me, "Stay like that then," she shrugged pointing tonmy clothes, "but you're coming."

"No." I shoot back.

"Fine." she gives in.

I lean back into my bed frame and huff.

My head hurt and I wanted to just sleep but my phone began to ring. Nash's name flashed on my phone.

I answered and put the phone to my ear, "What?"

"Shit so grumpy, but Jas, please come! It'll just be me, you, and Cat." He pleaded.

"Nash, I really don't want too."

"Listen to me Jas, Matt is losing out. Don't do this to yourself! We all know his ass will come back. You have Cameron ya know. I don't think I've ever seen someone so happy and you two are perfect."

I look down and lightly smile, "Nash.."

"Yeah?"

"Thank You." I smile into the phone.

"No problem Jasmine, I'm always here," he laughs, "You coming?"

I laugh, "Ugh okay!"

Cathy looks likes she's about to be in tears and I laugh before hanging up and getting things for Nash's house.

We headed to Nash's house and I could feel Cathy's eyes on me. I ignored and looked out the window. She pretended to clear her throat, "So Nash got you to change your mind but I didn't?"

I chuckled slightly and rolled my eyes.

She scoffed, "Damn, that's harsh." I laugh again.

*****

Nash greeted us both with a hug and we sat waiting for him to change into his pajamas.

"Guys!" he smiled, "I need to tell y'all something!" We laughed and faced him as he ran into the livingroom.

"I've gotten invited to the 2014 Billboard Music Awards, and I want you to come!" he smiles wide, he hads us invitations.

We jump up and squeal at his news.

Cathy claps, "Congrats Man, you deserve that ya know!" I nodded in agreement, "That's so cool, you're probably freaking out." He shrugs, "Well, I feel really good."

We all laugh, and Cathy stops, "Is that why we're clelebrating?" Nash laughs loud and nods.

"Why isn't Cameron here then?" I ask.

"He went to a fitting, he was invited too.." Nash answers. I mouth an "Oh"

"You know he's going mad because you haven't talked to him.. He's getting completely jealous."

Cathy nods, "Aww, I think that's so cute." I shrug, "Nash you know me, I just- I take a lot of time to cope." Nash sits down, "Well yeah, I know that.." he runs his hand through his hair, "But does he?"

"He as is Matt, or He as in Cam?"

"Matt thinks you're completely okay with you guys not speaking? And then Cameron knows you're not okay, why not just let Cam help you?" Nash asks.

My head falls into my hands and I shrug, "Maybe because I don't want him to feel obligated to helping the needy." Nash chuckles, "Well I've been doing it for years now, I like it." I roll my eyes and chuckle, "Its different with him... I really like him."

"How was it not the same? You and Nash had that plan to date, but the idiot disappeared, but you guys liked each other for that brief time.." Cathy asks. Remember I mentioned I was waiting for Nash, this is that.

But she was completely right.

I did like Nash at one point and all the times we shared, I wouldn't change that for anything. Nash's eyes are on me and he's waiting for me to respond. I don't know how to respond to that.

"Jas?" Cameron's voice asks.

We were so into talking we didn't hear the door unlock nor open.

I shut my eyes tightly, fuck, I thought. I opened them and turned to see Cameron eyeing me.

Cathy and Nash jump up, "We're gonna go get food, Chinese food, be back in an hour.." Cathy nervously laughs. They leave us in the living room and Cameron walks over.

"You okay? I heard what happened, I called." He says. I nod, "I know, I'm sorry I-"

"You don't beed to apologize Jas, ever. As long as I see you here in the flesh, I'm good." He smiles sweetly.

"Okay.. Its just it kind of sucked the first love of my life decided, on his own, he didn't want me...ever." I sadly spoke, my head down.

Cameron's fingers glided along the side of my face, his thumb traced over my bottom lip and his gaze was strong. We locked eyes and he whispered, "Well Matthew is an idiot and he doesn't deserve you anyways."

I smiled, rubbing my face on his hand lightly.

I don't think it was about being perfect for him or Matt being perfect for me. I still wanted him and I hated that.