Me and the guys: Jack & Jack, Hayes, Nash, and their other friend Jake we're all hanging in the studio Jack J made for when he wanted to work from home. Jack J was working on some of his beats and he needed people to hear them.
A lot of them were extremely good.
Nash and them began working on rhymes and more beats while I sat on the couch. Jake Foushee was the name of the other friend, he was really sweet and I noticed he was from Vine just like the others. He had major skills on the keyboard.
I laughed as Jack G trolled Hayes which made him annoyed.
I was getting up while Hayes was sitting and I patted his back, "It's okay tiny nugget." Hayes chuckled and looked up, "Thank you, because that helps." I shrugged and laughed, "I tried."
He laughed and looked back to the guys.
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I fished my phone from my purse and seen I had more messages from Twitter. I knew exaclty what they were and who they were from. Cameron's "fans". A lot of them hated me. Some loved me. And others just despised me. I didn't open any of them and I haven't told Cameron I got them. He wouldn't be happy with them.
I didn't realize that I zoned out until someone tapped my shoulder. I looked to Nash as he eyed me. I smiled, "Sorry, uh, what's up?" He laughed, "You hungry?"
I nodded, "Uh, yeah, yeah."
He smiled, "Pizza's here, come get some."
I nodded, "Yeah, I'm gonna head to the bathroom first." He nodded and left the room. I headed down the hall to the bathroom and switched on the light then stood in front of the mirror. I eyed myself, it was hurting the back of my throat as I held in crying out loud.
I know the hate came with dating Cameron.
I just don't know how to handle it.
'you're strong.'
'stop crying'
'you're strong'
'stop crying'
I repeated this until my tears stopped. I cleared my throat and grabbed a tissue before wiping under my eyes then adding more concealer. I dabbed the product in and inhaled and exhaled with my eyes closed.
I walked out and Johnson was leaning against the wall. "You okay?" he asked. I just nodded and began walking to the kitchen. He frowned, "If this realtionship is emotionally hurting you, why stay?" I stopped in my tracks and looked to him, "Because- because I love him."
"If you break this off, it doesn't mean you love him any less Jasmine." he responds.
"I can handle it."
"Can you?" he asked.
I nodded, "I can try."
"You don't have to." Jack says. "But I want to." I respond.
He nodded, "I'm here either way." I smiled, "I know."
We headed to the kitchen and grabbed some pizza before sitting at the table with the others.
They all laugh and talk.
I look at my phone as it lights up. Another Twitter message. This time I open the app and read a few. They were just like last time, just different girls. This time there was over 40.
My heart sunk.
I put my phone down and looked up at the guys. They looked at me. I got up and headed to the balcony.
I overlooked the streets.
"Jas," Nash said as he stood next to me, "What happened?"
"This sucks." I responded. He chuckled, "What does?"
"Being in a relationship."
I haven't been in one since Matthew.
Nash sighed, "How so? You and Cameron are happy." I scoffed and faced him, "His fans. Why must they treat me this way? What have I done?" He hugged me and I cried into his shoulder, "You haven't done anything. They're just jealous."
"I used to be that kind of fangirl you know, I used to hate whoever came close to my favorite celebrity. I wouldn't wish them death, but I'd hate them. Now that I'm the girl that the guy has fallen for, I feel foolish. I understand how they feel Nash. A piece of their heart has found someone else to love. Its not like he's stopped caring for them because of me. Fucked up part is, I don't hate them and I'm not mad. Not at all. I hate myself to think I'm worthy of being with their entire world. Cameron is their world. They think I've taken him from them. Why can't I just be loved the way I deserve? Is it so hard to let a human being who's trying, to be happy?" I cried out.
Nash hushed me, "Jas, Cameron loves you. He treats you so good. You make him the happiest." I sniffed, I knew that.
"I want to ignore all them because Cameron is so happy. But it's so hard." I sniffed again.
"Come on." Nash smiled, "Come eat, I can tell Cameron about the fans."
"Please don't." I eyed him straight in the eyes. Nash looked at me, "Fine, but if you don't, I will." I nodded.
