Savior

13

It was around 11:30 am, I had just woken up. I jumped in the shower and quickly washed my body and hair. I had a full hour until I was meeting Matt.

It was hurting my stomach because I had no idea what he wanted to talk about. Anxiety levels were high.

I quickly get dressed and head out to Panera where I was meeting Matthew.

I spotted him from a far as he sat in the restaurant window eyeing the menu and his watch.

Was he nervous? Or just had somewhere to be?

I ignored my thoughts and walked into the shop and smiled wide. He got up and smiled, hugging me then pulling out my chair. I sat down and grabbed the menu and looked for what to order.

After we ordered I clapped my hands in front of me on the table and chuckled, "So what's up?"

He cleared his throat, "You know how you said you loved me but you weren't in love with me?" he asked as he nervously looked at me, "Well I kind of wanted to know let you know I've actually been feeling that way too. But I don't like seeing you with Cameron so I don't know how I fully feel."

I don't know why, but my heart felt heavy to actually hear him say it. This happens way too often.

I let him continue.

"Its just I have spent this year loving you. I don't even think we'd be able to be friends if I wasn't able to see you romantically." he simply states.

Don't cry you big baby.

He continues.

He looks down, stiring his tea, "And I don't wanna hurt you anymore."

Shit.

Here it comes.

The corner of his lips lift just slightly, "So I guess what I'm saying is," his hands moves out and he grabs mine stroking softly. I closed my eyes to fight the tears. He continues, "You know what I'm saying is, bye, Jasmine.."

And with that, he gets up and walks away.

I let the tears drip down my cheeks and sit just facing forward. No sound, just slow dripping tears.

Could I really be sad?

What makes me think I could be sad when I've been already trying to move on?

Was it just that I thought I wanted to when really I'm still extremely attached to him?

These questions hurt my head.

I've also just ordered food, so due to sadness, I'm going to stay and eat that shit.

||| Sorryy this was soooo short! But don't worry there's a double update todaaay!🌟 Either way updates are every Wednesday & Saturday❤ |||