Safe (BillDip)

Eighteen

WARNING: Suicidal thoughts and drugs.


It's been three days and I haven't left the room, I refuse to leave in fear I'll see Bill. He hasn't made any efforts to talk to me and I didn't really hear any noises going outside of the room I was in.

But all I really did was sleep all day, letting the world slowly fade away.

My stomach craved for food but I just couldn't bring myself to go out there, even if there was a chance of seeing Bill. Even his name makes me feel sick, makes me want to scream and cry. I could admit, I missed him, I missed his embrace, his presence, his voice. I would go and say sorry, yet I have this feeling he wouldn't forgive me.

Did I even want him to forgive me? I mean I should be forgiving him, right? He's the one who pushed me down and almost gave me a concussion. He's the one who started this whole entire mess.

It took me forever to debate if I should go and get something to eat or stay in here till I starved to death.

I don't know what option seemed better.

Finally I mustered enough courage to get up, feeling lightheaded and weak. My body was stiff from just laying in a bed for the past seventy two hours, sighing loudly as I stretch out, feeling my bones crack and creak. I forced myself to walk out of the room and down the hallway till I saw the main room.

I sighed in relief seeing that Bill wasn't there. I quickly run to the kitchen area, grabbing crackers, bottles of water, cheese, all kinds of snacks and putting them out on the table.

I couldn't even sit down, to eager to fill my stomach with food till I got sick. I ripped boxes open and putting the goodies in one pile, shoving my mouth full of food. Feeling the hunger pains ease the more I eat. God it felt so comforting, the taste, the smell, it made all of my bad thoughts wash away the more I ate.

I just began yet my stomach was already hurting, feeling it stretch out slightly. I popped a cracker in my mouth and left the mess there, getting a glass of water to help the pains in my abdomen go away. Once I gulped that down and set it on the table with all the other junk, walking over too the couch and flopped down, laying on my back as I gently rub my blown out tummy.

God I regretted my decision of eating a whole meal in the span of two minutes.

~

I spent the next few days lounging around and eating away my feelings, Bill was gone. He took it seriously when I said I never wanted too see him again. I don't know how to feel about it. I can't get my mind off of him and the only way is stuffing my face with food and watching movies or reading books.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's so lonely and empty, I have no one at all, how long will it be till I turn insane? But there is a way out..

I mean, I have no one in my life anymore. There's no point in trying to survive when you're constantly depressed, sitting around and doing noting till you rot away.

I felt dread sit on my chest as I processed those thoughts through my mind. I look down at my pale hands, watching them tremble slightly. Maybe Mabel will be there?

I shook my head, trying too chase those thoughts away sitting up. I need a distraction, and I know exactly what I needed.

I opened the supplies room, taking a bottle of vodka and searching around for something else, I don't know, anything!

I shuffled things around, looking around the drug storage area. I sigh loudly as I continue too look, and once I picked up a box I heard something move inside. I opened the lid, biting my lip to keep myself from laughing.

It was a penis shaped bong. No water but the slide was there laying by the glass piece.

Man am I happy I ran into this. I took it out of the box and put the slider in, snorting once I got to hold it in my  hands.

I walk out of the room, closing the door behind me with my foot, heading to the main room to set them down. Now all I needed was a lighter, and some of that dank kush.(im sorry) I also can't forget to fill the bong with water.

I began too search around for some type of thing that produces fire, move things around on the random stuff piled around, stuff Bill would leave around. My heart dropped just thinking about his name. I sigh, running a hand through my hair, deciding to just get some weed and pray there is some lighter there.

Once I got to the room I noticed just a table full of bowls, lighters, bongs. I didn't even need too search through the storage room. "Of course." I say to myself as I walk over too the table, happy that there was already a bag full of the green herbs so I didn't have too take it off the plant.

I took the bag and a green lighter, skipping out of the room and back to the coffee table, setting down the other two items and taking the Penis shaped bong into my hands, going over too the sink and filled the bottom part.

I sighed in relief, my quest was finished! Now I can just relax, forgot about everything and watch some movies!

A/N: God this is official the worst chapter of this book, for now at least.