Safe (BillDip)

Nineteen

A/N: Yo get ready for some real Bill when he's not putting an act on for Dipnob.

Fuck! I missed him so much, it hurts. My chest felt heavy when I thought about his face, taking a huge swig of whisky in the bottle. I could feel the tears slipping out of my eyes, already sore from crying for the fourth time today.

My heart ached, my body screamed at me as I got wasted and high, my mind tells me to stop but it helps. It helps me forgot, god I just wanted to delete my memories.

I've been sitting on this couch for at least more than a week, I've lost count by now. But I can't bring myself to do anything unless it's getting food, drinking or smoking. I felt a knot in my throat, I let out a choked sob to release the pressure on my chest, my whole body began to shake as I took the bottle to my mouth again, chugging the horrible taste that burned my throat.

But I was already use to it.

"You know Dipper, you look really beautiful crying."

My heart dropped, my eyes widen as I drop the bottle, hitting the carpet. I turned around, wiping away snot dripping down my face. He chuckles as I stand up quickly, almost falling but regaining my composer to pounce onto him, wrapping my arms around him tightly. "Bill I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it, I o-over reacted I'm so sorry."

His body starts shaking, he was crying wasn't he? I couldn't help but smile slightly, looking up at to comfort him but he was not crying. He was laughing. He didn't even hold me back as he started cackling, his pupils were like slits in front of the yellow iris. "W-what?"

Suddenly I felt something cold against my head, I knew exactly what it was. My whole body stopped working as I looked up at him with fear, feeling anxiety course through my veins.

"Silly Pine tree." Pine tree? He's never called me that before. "Didn't you read the first page of my book?" My eyes began too sting once I heard those words, it felt like the whole world stopped, like I was paralyzed in that spot forever. "What did it say?"

I swallowed, not being able to form words. He put his hand around my neck, squeezing lightly. "What did it say?!" He said louder.

"W-whoever reads it.." My breath hitched, a small sob falling out my mouth. "You'll kill t-them."

"Do you think you would get some special treatment because I love you?" I shake my head in response, feeling tears drain my already dry eyes as I began to sob uncontrollably trying to come to terms with my fate. I gazed up at him, his stare felt like it was slicing right through me. "You do." He says, smashing his lips against mine, yet the gun was still to my head.

I still felt horrified, not being able to calm down as I force myself to kiss back and closing my eyes tightly. Bill took his hand off my neck and placed it on my hips, walking forward till I was pressed against the back of the couch. I couldn't help but sob, causing him to pull away. I open one eye noticing his pupil return to it's normal size. "Fuck kid," He throws the gun to the side, relief washing over me. "It was still on it's safety."

I couldn't say anything as I stared up at him, making him sigh out. "I know, I'm insane."

"Y-you are." I say, still trembling under his touch.

"Listen, I'll leave and never come back if you really want me too. I can't stand how afraid you are." He says, placing his hand on my cheek. I lean into, taking a deep breath.

"You may be insane, and you may be the reason my sister died. But no matter what, I'll never be able to stop loving you." I admit, staring up at him.

Bill chuckles softly, giving me a heart warming smile as he rubs my side with his other hand, leaning in. I met half way, grazing my lips softly against his. Once I got he taste I needed more, pressing my lips against his, starting to suck gently on his bottom lip. I made sure there was no space between us, grinding the soft skin between my teeth slightly earning a delicious moan from him.

Tears built up again, I couldn't tell if it was happy or sad. I couldn't tell if I was happy that he was here, I missed him so much but this new side of him really scared me.