Guys, I'm Gay

Back

Hey,what's up you guys? I'm back. It feels like I've been gone forever but I haven't. I'm sorry I left you guys alone for who knows how long.

I'm having a mid life crisis, even though I'm not near "mid life" yet. My crush has a boyfriend now, every time I wash my hair it gets whiter (I dyed it silver like a month ago and now it blonde and white), I cut myself for the first time sense 7th grade... That I'm not proud of. And my grandpa had a heart attack.

My life is so weird right now, nothing feels right. It's gotten to the point where I can listen to 1989 by Taylor Swift all day without having a headache. That's a miracle to me. I've been watching Dan and Phil lately and I don't regret that, they're pretty cool. Or shall I say they are amazing and not on fire! Ohhh! I just laughed at my own joke, that's sad.

Funny story: last night while I was sleeping I woke up for a moment and when I opened my eyes I seen the face of my teddy bear, Louis, and I punched him in the face. But then I realized what he was and apologized. I'm crazy. Lol.

I found my cat Silas' adoption papers and it literally says "I love to snuggle and love to play, please don't overlook me just because I'm a black kitty." Gurl! Pet Smart lied to me, Silas attacks dogs and sleeps all day! Don't trust Pet Smart when it comes to describing the animals they have for adoption. But I love Silas and he loves me and he was the best $45 I've ever spent. :) he's my best friend who understands me.

I'm just trying to think of stuff to talk about sense we haven't talked in forever.

I've been trying to explore the men's side again, I have to admit, I've seen a few cute trans guys on Instagram. I've also been having the trans dreams again and tbh it doesn't feel wrong. I hate being confused about everything. I wish I just knew. If I am Trans, I'd still be too afraid to do anything about it. I'm too chubby to have a binder cause I've seen YouTube videos and they said it literally does nothing about boobs. Now I'm sad again. Ugh.

My Sim died yesterday, his name was Dil. He died on his children's birthday. It sucked, he was begging for his life and all that sad stuff. My step brother said "damn, that's dark." Then Dil's wife, Rebecca, wrote two books called 'I Am White Trash' and 'Where Science Went Wrong'. Lol that's was pretty funny though. Then the kids got a dog for their birthday, his name is Snoop. Get it? Snoop Dog? Hahaha, my little brother thought it was hilarious.

I skipped school today cause of the whole cutting thing, I don't want to face people. I have really bad anxiety. It sucks cause it feels like anything could go wrong if I throw my garbage away- it's awful. Or if I have to do something in front of people, I just can't. I've been sent to the office so many time because I refused to read in front of people. Give me a break school- I'm not perfect.

Did we catch up enough today? I think we did. It was nice to talk to you guys again, I missed it a lot. Leave a comment below about anything, I don't care.

Bye guys!!!