I've been so lost without you, yet at the same time it makes me sick thinking about you. You sorta broke my heart. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you around and be enough for you to still love me. I regret everything I've ever done.
McDonald's chose a bad week to not have me on the schedule. Imagine being alone with your thoughts constantly. I got my permit and now I have no use for it. It was based on the idea that one day I would pick you up from the airport and we'd live happily ever after. Fuck, was I wrong.
I've had the worst headache and the I'll forget that you're not going to be there tonight so I have nobody to tell how my day went, how I was, how work sucks most of the time.
They put me on back wall today for the first time. That's where you deepfry things. I burned my hands a few times but it didn't matter. I was running for till too, someone wanted fries straight out of the oil, I was putting them in the bag with a girl named Hannah, you might remember her. Well a really hit fry landed on my arm and sat there. Now I have this huge burn in the shape of a fry.
I ate supper and i still feel sick, who knows, it'll probably come back up later. But then I'll have nobody to tell me I'll be okay.
Im lost as a person and I've never felt less valuable. It's hard to tell my family we broke up because there's still that feeling that we'll get back together one day. But as of now January 10th is just another day.
I thought we would have made it a lot longer than we did. A year and two months was only a fraction of what I wanted. But I couldn't manage to do that. I hurt you and i could be strong anymore so I let you leave. I didn't want to fight anymore and i didnt want to cry. Honestly I'd rather go through hell than this. It just makes me sick. Sad and sick.
I hope you had a nice day, hopefully I don't bother you too much. I want to block your number so badly but I can't do it. I'm lost. Scared. Broken. Im fucked.
Im sorry that I wasn't enough and hopefully one day you will find someone who can give you the world. I know you miss physical love too.
~E
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Guys, I'm Gay
Non-FictionThe Life Story of a meme fueled, hormone filled, raging homosexual teenager. I'm just here to share my experiences and "knowledge" or advice on life as a teenager going through shit. Sit back and relax, and look at my shitty life in the slowly bei...
