Guys, I'm Gay

Happy Halloween

Hey what's up you guys?! Can I just say, today is going to be an amazing day. It has to be. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday, but last year it was wrecked for me and so I've kinda died down on the whole "be excited for holidays" thing.

A year ago today my auntie called my mom crying saying that my grandfather had just pushed my auntie through a door and she broke her wrist because my auntie, my cousin and my grandma caught my grandpa cheating. As you may know I'm all the way in Alabama and my family is in Minnesota... Which sucks cause I do miss having family around. But once I found out I sat on the stairs and watched my mom cry. Finally I got up and ran to my neighbors house and sat on the floor with my friend and her boyfriend at the time and I called my grandma to see if she was okay. We sat on the floor and the phone was on speaker and when she answered she was crying her eyes out. That was the first time I had ever heard her cry and it broke my heart.

She said "Emma, don't worry about me baby girl. Just don't worry and have a good day" then I asked her what happened and she said "I was about to kill him. He had Trina pinned between the toilet and bathtub on the floor and I had the knife in my hands and I was gonna stab him. As soon as I moved my had the knife was gone and the police grabbed Gary and pushed him outside and onto the porch. I told the police what I was gonna do and there was no knife in the bathroom. But later on I found it in the drawer." It made me cry so much and I told her that I loved her. It was one of the worse days of my life. Once our phone call ended I began to cry even harder. I remember crying for about an hour before my mom and her boyfriend were knocking on the door cause my grandma had called my mom and told her I was crying and that I was at my neighbors house...

It bothers me so much that I heard my grandma cry because I've never heard her cry before and she was always so strong... It's so weird. Months later when I began to get over it I found my grandpas mugshot from when it happened and I began to cry in the middle of class cause we had to write a paper about our background and I seen that picture of my grandpa... It's so weird. I hate that picture. It's burned into my brain. He looked crazy.

I'm sorry about the depressing story time chapter. I just had to get that off my chest cause it bothering me a lot today. I'm actually crying while writing this, but don't worry cause I'll be okay soon.

On a better note, I stayed at my crushes house on Friday and it was just us two and we fell asleep holding hands. I remember we were comparing hand sizes and then we talked about random stuff for a few hours and we fell asleep. Then I woke up around five and our hands were still together and it made me so happy. Then the other day she told me she loved me more then just a friend. And on Saturday night she promised that one day we'll be more then friend but just not now cause she has to get her boyfriend to understand that she doesn't want to be with him. I hate him. He makes life hard for us. But Christian, she makes me happy an I'm glad that I have her in my life cause she listens to me when no one else does... It's nice.

So I guess I'll see you guys soon??
🎤SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT! 🎤 ~MCR