Poems

Poem 27

  I'll put this in the order in which you told me

Hopefully after this, you will finally see

We've done this so many times, I've become numb

It didn't really hurt to admit we were done

But before you jump to conclusions like you so commonly do

I want you to know that I miss you too

I'd never admit it because I thought you didn't care

I thought that if I came back to you, you'd dismiss me right then and there

A monster? That I can't really get

Maybe that's just a side of me I haven't acknowledged yet

I'm glad you still talk to what's left that great thing we had

And I'm truly sorry things ended so bad

Your love and affection was always worth while

I loved all the stupid things you did to make me smile

Maybe that part was said out of hate

But once it's open, you can't really close that gate

We both tried our best to be the perfect friend

But sometimes things just have to come to an end

I never saw our friendship as a game

But when it came to the fights, it seemed like you thought I was the only one to blame

Honestly Em? How dare you accuse me of using you for status?

I loved you for your personality and everything we had? God dammit Emily I was glad we had it!

I never asked you to take the blame for me

In fact I more often than not took the blame before you, you see?

I wasn't trying to make your life a living hell

But let's face it, our friendship was Heaven, and we both fell

Let me explain why I said the part about game and war

I read in your convo with Bre, in which you said we hadn't been friends in a while, that part made my heart sore

I guess in my head it made me think you had faked everything I loved

It felt like a push, so in response, I didn't think, I just shoved.

I understand why if we tried again now, things wouldn't work

But I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't hurt

"Because I could" is not the reason I tore you apart

I did that because I felt like you broke my heart

Please don't accuse me of being the type to not care

Because you know damn well that when you needed me I was always there

Let's face the facts, I wasn't the only dishonest one

But I won't bring that up, it's all said and done

Time to answer the big question, exactly happened that day

I realized something Em, we were stuck on replay

Fighting every so often, ending it over one thing or another

Causing stress for our sisters and brothers

Honestly, Em, it did feel like you were a parasite

You were always sad and your depression, I always had to fight

It took time, it took power

Any strength I had draining by the hour

Emily, you used to be worth my world and more

But we both walked out through different doors

I never saw you like the other girls, I swear on my life

But you and I bickered like husband and wife

I'm not going to beg or ask you to stay

That's your choice and I would understand if you chose to walk away