Poems

Poem 41

  "You're over him. It's over. You're okay, be okay."

Then why do I feel the way I feel today?

I told myself it was over, that I can happily move on

But maybe I'm still not over just how you did me wrong

You say I made you unhappy, that I fail to comprehend

Because when it came to what you wanted, I went to absolutely no end

You wanted? You got it from me

So tell me how you were unhappy?

Maybe it's everything that I put into you

Or all the little things that you would do

Whatever it is, whatever's bringing me down

All I know is it's making me wish you were around

But the part of me suffering from this broken heart

Knows that the truth of it is we're better off apart

I guess that maybe I have yet to understand why

How you could say the things you said, the things that made me cry

How? What did I do wrong in your eyes?

I was putty in your hands of lies

No matter what it was, I did my best

But while you were faking a smile with me, you were saying to the rest

That you were unhappy, you felt useless, and I was just a pawn

I don't know how I didn't see it all along

Nightmare dressed as a day dream, a monster disguised as a prince

You broke my heart Thanksgiving day and I haven't been the same since

It's been exactly 2 weeks since all of this happened and I have yet to say it's over

I was drunk on the idea of you and then you forced me sober

The day dream turned nightmare, the prince became a liar

He took a hose to our love and put out all the fire

And while my face was puffy from tears, heart in shambles on the ground

The boy who claimed so much abuse was laughing, safe and sound

I gave you everything you wanted and more but you selfishly took it all

And while you were steady on the ground, I was forced to take a fall

I loved you so much, I had so many plans for us

But when the "honeymoon phase" was over you began to make a fuss

Instead of telling me the truth, you fed me some more lies

And I believed every single one as tears fell from my eyes

Eleven months flew down the drain

My life torn apart, but you're not in pain

Because that day was just another normal day in your life

Meanwhile my friends had to force me not to choose a knife

You were a monster disguised as everything and more

And when you had your hooks in deep, you quickly shut the door

You cut me out of your little world

Already moving on to another girl

You pushed every button, took a shot at every insecurity

Laughing as you did these thing, didn't care that you were hurting me

I thought I was over you but I guess I need more time to heal

Because while you were playing a game, in my eyes it was real

But when that time comes, and hearing your name doesn't make me cringe and cry

I'll look back at the times we loved so much and whisper "Time to say goodbye"

I can't wait for that day but it has yet to come

Until then I can only better myself until the pain is done

I'll keep crying, keep my heart on lock

When everything came out that day, I was frozen in shock