Lock & Key *Camren*

Chapter 15

Lauren's POV:

"Lauren You're Pregnant" The doctor told me starring the screen. 

My Heart dropped to the pit of my stomach, my whole world has just been turned upside down, my head is spinning, i'm going to throw up, Literally,  I jumped up from the bed running to the trash can emptying the contents of my stomach, I lifted my head, the doctor handing me a tissue to wipe my mouth, I stood up and turned to face Camila and the doctor.  

"I don't want it" I whispered shaking my head. 

"I need to know you're one hundred percent sure on this decision" The doctor told me, leading me over to sit in a chair. 

"I don't want it" I whispered again as the tears continued to slide down my face.

Camila stood up wrapping her arms around my head pulling me into her stomach, my arms wrapped around her petite waist holding onto her tightly as i completely broke down and soaked her shirt with my tears. 

"You want to abort this baby? or would you like to give it up for adoption?" He asked me. 

"I can't" I shook my head against Camila's stomach. 

"She wants to abort it" Camila answered for me. 

"Okay Lauren I need to talk to you about this okay, i need you to look at me and listen to what i am saying" i pulled my face out of Camila's stomach and lifted my head to look at the doctor, my eyes drifting behind him and focusing on a piece of dirt on the wall.

"It will be a 48 hour thing, you will be given the first pill today called mifepristone it blocks the hormone that makes the lining of the womb suitable for the fertilised egg, you will able to continue your normal activities okay, you might get slight bleeding and mild cramps but nothing to heavy okay, are you listening to me? Lauren i need you to pay attention to what i am saying" 

I nodded slowly, trying to pay attention but not being able to focus my mind on the words that he is saying, why is he telling me what the pills are called like i understand? it's just a fancy name for a pill that's going to abort my child, His child, i can't believe i am pregnant with his child. 

"Not much will happen okay, but then you're going to come back on Saturday, you will be given a second pill called prostaglandin, within 4 to 6 hours of taking it, your womb lining will break down and will be lost, along with embryo, through bleeding from your vagina, this part can be painful but you can take painkillers, I want to make sure you have someone with you for 24 hours after taking the second pill to take care of you"

I nodded again tears still sliding down my face as Camila held on to me.

"Are you positive you want to do this?" He asked me and I nodded again.

"Okay but I want to do a blood test As well and make sure you haven't caught any sexual transmitted diseases okay"

"Okay" I finally spoke.

"I'll be right back" he said leaving the room. 

As soon as he left i hid my face back in Camila's stomach and broke down gripping her shirt tightly, as she caressed my back in a soothing manner, she bent over and pressed her lips to the top of my head mumbling 'i love you' 

"I... can't...do this" I told her between sobs. 

"You want to keep it?" Camila asked me and I shook my head no.

"But... I can't... Kill a.. Life" I sobbed.

"Baby it's nothing right now, you're only two weeks along okay, it's not even the size of my little nail" Camila told me trying to comfort me, she pulled my face away from her stomach and bent down so she was at eye level with me wiping away my tears. 

"I know.. But.. It's.. Still a living.. Thing" i sniffled trying to control myself. 

"Lo if you want to keep this baby I will stand by you and help you raise it, but you have to tell me now okay, because once you've done it you can't take it back, it'll be gone forever, I don't want you getting depressed over it" Camila whispered the last three words, choking up herself about the situation that is unfolding infront of her. 

"I can't keep it" I whisper shaking my head.

"Promise me you're okay with this?" She asks and I just nod.

"I need to hear you say it out loud Lauren" she told me. 

 I avoided her gaze looking down towards the floor, I can't promise her that. 

Truth was I wasn't okay with it, I can't kill something that hasn't even had a chance to live yet? How fucked up is that! But I will not bring this child into the world, knowing that it's only here because i got raped, I can't handle that, I'm only 16 I'm not ready to have a baby, I need to live my life, I can't have this baby constantly reminding me everyday of HIM, the way his hands touched my body, leaving his markings on my skin, I can't, I want it gone, I don't want this.

The doctor returns with a nurse who draws blood out of my arm and then leaves quietly without saying a word. 

"Okay take this" he says handing me a pill with water.

I look down at the pill in my hand swirling it between my forefinger and thumb.

"Lauren you're hesitating, are you sure that this is something you want to do?" He asked me for what felt like the millionth time.

I placed the pill between my lips following it up with a large sip of water, my hands shook as i lowered my hands into my lap.

"Okay" the doctor nodded, understanding my decision. 

"Come back Saturday morning at 10am okay, I'll leave you to get changed and you can go, you're doing the right thing Lauren" he placed his hand ontop of my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze before leaving the room. 

Can't back out now, it's already started, the life inside me will be gone in 2 days and it will all just be a horrible nightmare.

"how are you feeling now you've taken it?" Camila questioned. 

"Like i've just murdered someone" I spoke in a monotone voice. 

Camila sighed deeply. 

"Baby you can't think like that, you said you can't keep this baby, so you've done what is best for you and for the child, you needed to do this, you didn't want a baby born out of a rape, and the baby wouldn't have wanted to have been born knowing how it was conceived, it's for the best" Camila told me. 

i just nodded, i knew she was right honestly i did, but i couldn't help but feel like i have done something wrong, i mean i have, i am half way to killing a life, something like this should be illegal, but when things like this happen it's also a good thing, because no one wants to raise a child that was conceived out of rape. 

I stood up and changed back into my regular clothes, and walked over to the door, Camila following behind me. 

she reached out to take my hand, but i drew back away from her and instantly regretted it when i saw the look of pain and hurt flash across her angelic face, i don't know why i drew back from her, i just didn't want to be touched right now, i felt disgusting and dirty and i just wanted to stand in the shower until i felt clean, but even then i don't think i would feel clean, i can't stop feeling like a disgusting whore who kills unborn children, if this is how i am going to feel for the rest of my life i think i have made a big mistake. 

We got outside the hospital and climbed into the car, Camila leaving a seat between us to give me my space, which she assumed i wanted, i felt bad because i have upset her, but it's not her fault, it's all me, I just can't explain that to her right now. 

As much as i crave her touch and having her hold me close, i also crave being alone and having my own space.

My head is a mess. 

To be continued...