You Save Me - Niall Horan FanFic (Sequel to If I'm Louder)

Chapter 12 - Birthday Surprise

I groan, staring in the mirror of the bathroom. I looked awful. It's gotten to the point that no matter how much make up Lou put on my face, it couldn't cover the dark circles and it looked horrid without make up. My face was paler than usually. I had lost about fifteen very noticeable pounds. My hair stuck up every which way and was nearly all brown now. I just haven't tried to fix myself up for anyone lately. I haven't felt like it. The last thing I wanted to do was go through the pain and work of dying my hair. My eyes were bloodshot. It looked like all of the color in them had been drained out. I stare at my naked torso. You could see each of my ribs.

Katie was so right. What have I done to myself?

I can't help but glance at my wrists. I start to pull off all of my bracelets and wrist bands. It was the only thing I could do to hide the white healed marks on my skin from the lads. And when we had concerts I would fight with the people who pick my outfits because they'd say to take them off. I can't. What if the fans notice?

Katie would be so ashamed of me. Well not ashamed. More like indignant and disgruntled. She would be so mad and upset that I did this to myself. But I only did it because it was the only thing to take my mind off the pain. I know, I know. Causing myself pain shouldn't help other pain but in a strange way, it does.

I sit on the toilet, dragging a finger along one. This one was two weeks ago, a few days after I broke up with her. My baby, my Katie. I drag my finger over another one. A newer one. One that just healed over. Four days ago. The day before we left for tour.

I was searching for one of my favorite jumpers in the laundry room when I caught Katie curled up behind a warm water pile crying quietly, staring at a picture of us. She was wearing the jumper. It was always big on her and it had "Fuck It. I'll be at the fridge" written on it. She didn't notice me because I was behind her. It was a picture the Denise had took of us in Los Angeles in the hotel. Katie and I's foreheads were pressed together and she was laughing as I pulled her right arm up behind us by the hand and held her other, attempting to dance.

I remember that day vividly.

--FLASHBACK--

Her beautiful laughter sparked through the room.

"Oh, God, Ni. You're a dork!" She giggled.

"The dork you love!" I throw back, smirking at her as she squeezed her hazel eyes shut.

"I can't quite grasp how that happened yet, either." She giggles making me narrow my eyes at her.

"That hurt, Kay. Right here." I point to my heart.

"You love me." She sobers up and grins at me.

"......... C'mere!" I shout beginning to chase her around. My family and all the lads and the girl who weren't deep in conversation grinned at us, watching as we circled Liam, Katie, and I's hotel room. Around the fifth time I grabbed her by the waist. She squeals and latches onto Chris. "No! Chrisy! He's got me!" She shrieks. He laughs as I try to pull her from him. My arms wound around her torso. She hugged his arm as I pulled before my hand slipped. Her head jerked up as a deep blush ran up to her cheeks. Then she smirked and looked at me. "You're going to have to take me to dinner first if think you're going to get to touch that." She cracks causing Dad and Greg to burst out laughing first while the lads, Chris, Denise, and the girls followed behind quickly. I blush fiercely, quickly removing my hand. Mum gave both of us a horrified look before scolding me.

"Niall Horan! You know thats no way to touch a girl even if she is your girlfriend!"

"It slipped!" I whine, stepping away from Katie quickly. My face was hot in embarrassment.