A little too late

Chapter 36

“So where exactly are we going Stella?” Jack asks me as I lead him out of the school gates.

“Ummm, I don’t know” I admit. Even though I’d love to take him somewhere quiet we can talk, I don’t exactly know where anything in England is. I decide to ask him where to go, “I want to go somewhere quiet where we can talk things through”.

He nods his head and pulls my hand so we start walking in the other direction.

“Where are we going Jack?” I ask him before I quickly add in, “and don’t make some smug remark about me having to guess or just trust you”.

He puts on a little smile and rolls his eyes dramatically.

“We’re going to my house” He tells me.

“Why?” I ask quickly, not exactly being eager to go there.

“You want quiet and nobody will be home at mine.” He tells me.

“What about your –“ I’m about to say parents before I quickly stop myself, remembering that his family is a touchy subject.

“What about who?” He asks me.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Just lead the way” I say. He uncomfortably shifts his hand around in mine but doesn’t let go.

“You can talk about them you know. Plus, I’m assuming that you and Finn already have so...” He says, half asking me a question at the same time.

“Yeah we kinda did” I admit. He looks at me for a moment before nodding his head.

He gives me a little sigh before he asks, “So what were your questions?”

“Are you sure you want to hear them?” I ask him.

“Not really. But if it makes you happy, then I will try and answer” He replies. I squeeze his hand happily and he rolls his eyes dramatically.

“So, like you and your mum?” I ask him.

I see his jaw tense up and I can tell immediately that this is a touchy subject for him, “What about her?”

“You guys don’t have the best relationship, do you?” I ask him.

“I hate her” He tells me bluntly. I can feel him getting moodier the more we talk about her but I still decide to the push the subject.

“You don’t really hate her Jack” I counter back.

“Can you not pyshco analyse everything I say please? She ruined my life and I hate her. That’s all you have to know about her” He says angrily.

“And you say I have mood problems” I say sarcastically. He grits his teeth in response, obviously trying not to get pissed at me.

“I’m sorry Stella. I really don’t mean to get angry at you. I just... I can’t stand that bitch. Can we please talk about something else? I’m sure Finn’s already told you everything you need to know” He begs of me. I look at him and all I see is anger in his eyes. His face is full of stress wrinkles and his cheeks are red with anger.

“But I want to hear it from you” I ask of him, hoping that talking it through may actually help him.

“It won’t be any different to what Finn told you” He replies hoping that I drop it.

“Maybe talking it through may help though” I say whilst I give his hand a little squeeze of encouragement.

He gives me a little laugh, “You sound like my counsellor”.

 “Is that why you take counselling? To talk about your mum?” I ask him, suddenly remembering my own conversation with the school counsellor.

“No, I do that so they don’t expel me. I don’t tell that women shit. She’s fucking annoying” He tells me as he finally curses someone out. I quickly agree with him and we both end up giggling at each other.

For a few minutes we walk to his house in silence. I can feel his hand finally relax in my hand as we stop talking. After a while, curiosity gets the better of me and I decide to re bring up his mother.

“I want to meet her” I say quickly. His hand immediately tenses up and his eyes go dark.

As his jaw tenses he innocently says, “Who?”

“Your mum” I reply.

“Never going to happen” He counters back quickly.

I stop him in his tracks and make him look at me. “Please Jack”.

He doesn’t even consider what I’m saying. “No”, he replies.

I decide to try something different, “Do you want to be with me?” I ask him.

“Of course. What are you trying to say Stella?”He asks me.

I look down to the ground before replying, “I’ll only be with you if... If you let me meet her”.

“You’re not meeting her.” He says bluntly.

I finally look up at him, “So we’re not together then?”

He looks at me in shock, “You can’t be serious Stella?”

When I don’t reply he continues to talk, “Stella, she is not like your parents. She is cruel and I never want to see her again, let alone have you see her. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be with you so bad. When we first got together, I was just praying for more. I couldn’t stay away from you then and I still can’t now. I need you, but what you’re asking me, I just can’t do Stella”.

A frown comes on my lips and he gives me a sympathetic look. Finally, he moves his lips to mine and gives me a little peck. When he pulls away, he just whispers, “Please”.

I merely nod my head in agreement and he mutters a silent ‘thank you’. I finally pull him in for a hug and he rests his head on my shoulder. I can feel his back muscles loosen as I wrap my arms protectively around him. I don’t realise that he’s crying until I feel my shoulder becoming wet. This only makes me hold him closer to me.

“I love you Jack” I whisper to him in comfort. He doesn’t say anything back but I know he feels the same. I suddenly feel bad for pushing the subject. Had I known that he would be that affected by my demands, I would never had asked him them at all. I continue to rub his back as he cries on my shoulder.

Eventually he pulls away from me and wipes his eyes. He gives me a little laugh before saying, “you’ve made me a sook Stella”.

I laugh back at him and he wraps his arm around me.

“C’mon, we’ll finish this at my house” He says as he leads me to his home.