A little too late

Chapter 66

Eighteen years later

I’m sitting outside the principals office again. What a surprise? That boy cannot stay out of trouble. I mean, to be honest, it doesn’t really surprise me. He’s exactly like his father.

I look down the hallway and see my son walk toward me. He is deep in thought, no doubt trying to make up yet another excuse to feed to the principal. His long hair is everywhere, as per usual. Unlike his father, he never bothered to put any effort into his appearance. And I guess he doesn’t need to. I’m a pretty proud mother, I created a pretty good looking son. And he looks just like his father too. The moment he popped out of me seventeen years ago I could tell that he was a Harries. Of course, this came as a relief because there was nothing I feared more than having a child that wasn’t Jack or Finn’s. But no doubt, this boy was a Harries. I could recognise those beautiful eyes any day.

“Jackson, what have you done now?” I ask him with a sigh. He gives me an innocent look and I roll my eyes. He gives me a pleading look and tries to ignore the fact that I’ve called him by his full name once again. There’s a reason I named him after his father after all, the two are just as bad as each other.

“He ran into my arm alright. That’s not my fault!” He says.  I let out a groan of frustration. I don’t know how I’m going to get him out of this mess. No doubt, he will get himself out of this mess himself. But I have no idea what he will even say to the principal to do it. The principal is still the same principal from when I went to school. And trust me, when he found out that mine and Jack’s son was being enrolled here, he nearly quit the job. Hubby definitely gave him enough of a hard time back then and it seems that history is repeating itself.

Sometimes I think that it’s my fault that our son gets into so much trouble. I am a single mother after all. I practically raised the boy all by myself. Of course, Finn and Rebecca have always been supportive of me in every way possible. Even Finn’s father and younger sister have chipped in a lot. In many ways they are my family. The death of Jack seemed to bring us all together. Rebecca quit her job and worked out her problems with her husband. They ended up getting a divorce which somehow cleared the air between them. Strangely enough, they’re dating now. It took them a while to realise that they actually needed each other in their lives despite their past. It was a shame that they got divorced too early seeing as they are back together now.

As for Finn, he got married to Goldie. Who would have thought? And he’s doing great. The moment that Jack died, he made one last video and shut the channel down. Ever since then, he got a good job in graphic design and he now supports his wife and six year old daughter.

And as for me, well, I’m living aren’t I. I have a seventeen year old son who is the biggest pain in the arse. But I wouldn’t change a thing. When I look at him, I see my husband. And even though the pain of losing the one you love will always be there, it seems to slowly fade a little away at times. And it’s the times that my son make me laugh that I realise what exactly my husband died for. Because he didn’t just die. He stayed alive until the moment that I got there, just to tell me to keep the baby. And because of him, I have a reason to live.

There are days when I really struggle or when I wish that I just had him with me. I walk around and see people my age holding hands and getting married and it’s a constant reminder of what I don’t have. And the truth is that I’ll never have that again. Because no matter who else I meet in this life, they will never be my husband Jack. Nor will my love for them ever amount to how much I loved Jack. But the reality is that he’s gone. And even though that kills me, when times get hard I just look to our son and the pain fades away a little.

So now I’m back to our son. The one who wags school and forgets to do his homework. The one who engages in reckless behaviour. The one who would rather go out and party than focus on his future. I think it’s fair to say that I’ve raised a pain in the arse. But you know what, I’m fine with that. About seventeen years ago, a boy taught me to live life to the fullest, and if my son wants to do that, so let it be. Because even though my son is a cheeky little shit at times, he is also the most caring and loving boy I have ever met. He’s the one who hugs me when I cry at night. He’s the one who pushes all the sleazebags away from when they try to pick me up. He’s the one that’s always there to protect me. And for that, I’m forever grateful because I truly have the best son in the world.

So, you see, when this son of mine seems to get himself in to trouble, all I can really do is roll my eyes. And that puts me into this predicament now. It places me in the place where I’m sitting in front of the principal, nervously trying to make up some excuse for my son just to prevent him from being expelled.

“So Jackson decided to physically abuse another child again Stella” The principal tells me. I bite my lip and look at my naughty son, just waiting for him to explain.

He opens his mouth and makes up some lie, “I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t help myself. You see, I’m struggling to cope and this was my only outlet. You have to understand, I just can’t deal with what’s going on in my life at the moment”.

“And what’s going on in your life that’s so dramatic and overwhelming Jackson?” The principal asks.

He opens his mouth and repeats over words that I never thought I’d hear, “My mothers pregnant”.

Oh dear God, here we go again...