A little too late

Chapter 40

“Wait Stella!” Jack shouts after me as I storm out of his house.

I turn around and attack him, “Wait for what Jack? For me to watch you do drugs?”

“I wasn’t going to take them Stella!” He tells me sadly. I give him a dumbfounded look.

“Yeah cause I’m going to believe that” I mutter.

He grabs my hand whilst saying, “No, Stella I asked Lauren for them when.... well after I found out about you and Finn! I was so down and I needed something to get me through. I thought you’d never take me back. Stella you have to understand!”

“Well that’s the thing Jack, I don’t understand and I never will. We are so different and I don’t get you at all! You act like you’re fine all the time but you have such a screwed up past and I don’t know how to deal with it all. And just when I think I know everything, you drop something like this on me and I just don’t get it Jack!” I reply. I see his cheeks flare up and his eyes narrow. He clenches his jaw and I can tell that I’ve pissed him off a little.

“You want to talk about things you don’t get? Well, news flash Stella, I don’t get you! One moment you’re all happy and flirtatious and rebellious and the next you’re fucking agro and judgemental. You change moods like you fucking change clothes and I don’t get you and your fucking mental shit!” He accuses me. I can tell he is a little pissed but he is still maintaining his anger. In many ways, he said that in a kinda nice way but either way it still hurt.

“I’m mental?” I question before adding, “I’m not the one with the fucked up life and even if I did I wouldn’t keep it all to myself. You can’t even fucking talk to anyone about it Jack, it’s so fucked up!”

He has finally hit breaking point and I see his fist curl up in a ball. He finally starts to scream back at me, obviously not being willing to take my shit. “Do you think I like my past Stella? What the fuck do you expect? It’s not something I like to fucking share! That’s the problem with you, you want to know every fucking detail of my fucking life and I can’t fucking do that!” He replies angrily.

“I don’t expect you to tell me everything, but this is fucking massive Jack! You can’t just expect me to get over this” I scream back at him.

He rolls his eyes, “Oh of course now everything’s about you. Guess what Stella, this isn’t your fucking life and you don’t have to deal with this shit”.

I lift my hands up in anger, “But I do Jack. I hate that I do but I can’t help it. I’m fucking in love with you and I worry so much about you and the shit you do”.

“Well, I never asked you to care now did I?” He replies smuttly. I lift up my hands in the air and throw them to the ground.

“You know what, I’m over this.” I say before I turn around and walk away.

He stays silent for a while and the moment I get to the gate he finally speaks up, “No, don’t fucking go”.

I just roll my eyes and keep walking away. I don’t have time to deal with his shit and he’s only going to take me for granted anyway. I can hear him sigh in frustration as he continues to try to get his attention.

“Stella, come on!” He tells me. I ignore him once again and keep walking down the street. All of a sudden, I see Jack in my peripheral vision as he jumps over his fence and in front of me. I try to stop quickly but I’m just too late and next thing I know I’m bumping into Jack. His arms wrap around me quickly to stop me from falling. I wobble around in his arms but he holds me tight so I’m stabilised.

“Please don’t leave me” He begs. I look into his eyes and try to read him. Whilst I can tell that he is still angry at me, more than this I can see that he is desperate.

I clench my jaw together. I’m still so pissed off but I can’t help it when he looks sad. I just want to bring him in my eyes and hug it out.

I try to stay as calm as possible, “I can’t take you hiding stuff from me Jack”.

I try to wiggle out of his arms but he just tightens his grip around me, obviously refusing to let me go.

“Then I’ll tell you everything. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to fucking go there but I..” He stops and thinks for a moment, “I just can’t lose you Stella”.

I stare back at him for a moment. His grip on me is super tight and I can tell that he is pissed off as hell. But more than this, I can see that he is genuinely sincere and that kills me.

I finally give in, “Fine, I want to know everything. No more surprises. And I’m not guaranteeing that I’ll be with you”.

He nods his head and mutters, “Wait here. I’ll just go tell Lauren to fuck off”.

With that he lets go of me and jumps back over his fence. My heart rate increases as he jumps over. I can’t help but worry whenever he engages in dangerous activities. Finally, he walks into his house and I just wait outside for him.